Monday Homestretch- Happy Birthday, Leo
Markets lower across the board today, with Technology leading the way down. Apple is off 4% after supplier, Lumentum, slashed its earnings and revenue outlook saying one of its largest customers (presumably Apple) requested to reduce shipments. On top of that, JPMorgan’s analyst lowered Apple’s price target from 270 to 266.
The US dollar also weighing on stocks today as the currency surges to a 16-month high on fears the European economy could stall if no Brexit deal is reached this week.
Crude rallying today after falling into bear territory last week as Saudi Arabia announced cuts in oil exports and signaled OPEC could slash output at its meeting next month.
BARSTOOL FINANCE CALENDAR FOR WEEK ENDING 11/16
Monday — Large co-hosting Barstool Breakfast; College Football Recap Podcast I co-hosted with Kayce and Dave drops; Eventbrite (EB) earnings after the bell;
Tuesday — Aramark (ARMK), L Brands (LB), Children’s Place (PLCE), Home Depot (HD) and Tyson Foods (TSN) earnings
Wednesday — Large co-hosting Barstool Breakfast; newest Podfathers Podcast drops; Blue Apron (APRN), Progressive (PGR), Cisco Systems (CSCO), Gap (GPS), and Macy’s (M) earnings; Inflation numbers for October
Thursday — Nvidia (NVDA), Nordstrom (JWN), Walmart (WMT), and Manchester United (MANU) earnings; October retail sales
Friday — Large co-hosting Barstool Breakfast; Williams-Sonoma (WSM) earnings
FLORIDA TRIP – I believe the media team will chop up the Gainesville trip last week into something video related and an audio recap will end up on KFC Radio, but I will tell you 3 things right now:
1.) Gainesville is fucking HOT, even in November… 84 degrees, and no real premium on AC in a couple of places. As a result, I drank 1,000 Bud Lights.
2.) College kids all know who KFC and Feitelberg are.
3.) The same cannot be said about me.
On more than 10 occasions we were standing at one of the bars, when a college kid would approach Kevin, John, and I for a picture. After we accepted to do it, said kid would hand me the camera and tell me to make sure the flash was on… Not a huge blow to the ego, but not a good feeling either.
CELEBRITY BIRTHDAY – I would be remiss to not mention a celeb birthday that was yesterday… Leonardo DiCaprio turned 44.
Leonardo Da Vinci was good… Leonardo DiCaprio is wonderful, only because of the quality of scattered ass that has been left in his wake, and the fact that it gives me an excuse to post some cheesecake in this blog.
If there is someone out there with a better stable, please make me aware of him… Otherwise, he is the Miles Davis of slaying beautiful broads.
Bridget Hall, Naomi Campbell, Helena Christensen, Amber Valletta, Eva Herzigova, Bar Refaeli (GIF above), Anne Vyalitsyna, Madalina Ghenea, Erin Heatherton (GIF below), Toni Garrn, Blake Lively, Miranda Kerr, Kelly Rohrbach, Lorena Rae, and 19-year-old Juliette Perkins to name a few.
Since breaking up with Nina Agdal in 2017, Leo has been making time with various actresses and models, including most recently Camila Morone.
And finally, Leo used to bang Gisele (for 5 years!), which I love. That is not to say that I love Gisele… I appreciate her “body of work”, but she seems like a fucking clam. But even more than that, I love the fact that Tom Brady is the greatest QB of all time but still has to turn on the TV maybe 80 to 100 times a year and see the face of the guy that was balls deep in his bride. And a young Leo probably wasn’t a gentle and unselfish lover… I assume he would hit up Gisele after a long day on the set of Gangs of New York, drop the doctor in her, and then blow cigarette smoke into her hair before he hopped into a limo he had waiting outside.
There are very few things that can humble an athlete on Tom’s level, but I believe firmly that this is one of them.
Every man and woman has to come to grips with the sexual past of their significant others, but that discomfort gets magnified ten-fold when you’re in the public eye AND your spouses past dalliances are of equal or greater renown.
Tom Brady may win another Super Bowl this year, and moonwalk into the Hall of Fame, but he is also keenly aware that at some point Leonardo DiCaprio wiped his dick off on the drapes of his wife’s SOHO flat… And that shit stings.
Kanye also.
Kim was absolutely destroyed by Ray J on tape, was married to 6’9″ Kris Humphries, and had someone as physically impressive as Reggie Bush just destroying her bush on the reg.
(That ain’t milk)
So go ahead and cut another “fire” album, Kanye. Or sell a million more of those ugly Yeezy sneakers. But go to sleep knowing that some big motherfuckers have turned your wife’s local into an express.
Happy (belated) Birthday, LD… Gisele sends her best (Tom doesn’t).
Take a report.
-Large
By the way… Whenever I think about what sex must be like with Kim K after Reggie/Ray J/Humphries, or maybe Pamela after Tommy Lee, I always think of this pic…
