Celebrate The Beginning Of Movember With Some Of The Greatest Muzzies To Ever Grace The NHL
As the calendar flips over after Halloween, thus stars the greatest month of the year; Movember. The time of the year when men (and hairy women) all across the world can give the razors a break and let the mustaches loose in order to raise money and awareness for health issues that affect men like such as prostate, testicular and mental health issues. Obviously the money that is raised during Movember is great because it is put to use in order to benefit the quality of life of men who are currently battling the health issues just previously stated. But just as important as the money is the sort of brotherhood bond that Movember brings out. There are men out there who look perfectly normal and handsome with a mustache. But unless you’re someone who let’s the muzzy go year-round, the majority of us look pretty ridiculous. And November is a pretty rough month to look ridiculous considering it’s the start of the holiday season and chances are you have to see a bunch of family/friends that you don’t get a chance to see much during the rest of the year this month, meanwhile you’re talking to them with a mangled caterpillar on your face. But when you’re walking down the street and you see somebody else looking equally as ridiculous, you know that you guys are both in this together and it immediately bonds you together. And it’s that that type of bond that makes it easier for guys dealing with those health issues to keep pushing through because they know they’re not fighting alone. It’s good shit.
So to celebrate the beginning of Movember, I figured we’d celebrate some of the best mustaches to ever grace the ice in the National Hockey League. Obviously there are going to be a few guys who I miss but that’s just the nature of the game. Feel free to let me know if I missed any major ones in the comments and I’ll try to update the blog.
Before we get to the muzzies, here’s a quick link to the Movember Foundation in case anybody is looking to donate or join the cause.
Mike Brown
When Mike Brown was with the Toronto Maple Leafs, he went pretty heavy on the Wendel Clark-esque handlebar mustache. But we have a few of those coming up shortly so I figured I’d show some love to his look in Edmonton. Which was much more refined and sophisticated. Nice little curl of the tips. It looks regal. It looks like he’s an early 1900’s oil tycoon or something. Which would make sense considering he was playing for the Oilers. Either way, it’s a fancy mustache for a violent man.
Wendel Clark
Here’s something I’d be very interested in finding out–how many #1 overall picks in the NHL draft have ever been drafted with a mustache? Probably not too many. Wendel Clark looked like he was already a 38-year-old divorced father of 3 when he was taken first overall in 1985. And that mustache really defined this man’s career. The man was an absolute beauty. 793 career NHL games, 330 career NHL goals, and 1690 career NHL penalty minutes. He posted back-to-back seasons in the NHL where he had 30+ goals and 200+ penalty minutes. But with a mustache like that, it’s not surprising at all.
Harold Snepsts
I can’t imagine there were a lot of children growing up in the 70s and 80s who were able to watch Harold Snepsts play in person because their parents were hesitant to buy tickets. I know that the majority of people were ugly in the 70s but even for his time, Harold Snepsts was one creepy looking dude. But it takes a true stud to keep that thing going regardless of how creepy it may look. And there may not be a bigger stud than this man right here.
Cal Clutterbuck
Cal Clutterbuck has managed to find the perfect blend between grit and grace with his mustache. You see him out there during pregame warmups skating around with no bucket. His hair is perfectly groomed with the perfect amount of product, his facial hair is tamed yet wild at the same time. He looks like he should be sipping a glass of whisky in a 3-piece suit, but then will smash somebody over the head with that glass of whisky if they get out of line. He’s like your typical Brooklyn hipster but not a total bitch.
Jaromir Jagr
There are many aspects of the game where Jaromir Jagr can be considered “elite”. Facial hair versatility is obviously one of them. He’s gone through so many different looks over the years and he nails all of them. I know that sometimes they may not be technically considered pure mustaches, but if anybody deserves a pass on some technicalities, it’s Jags.
Dennis Maruk
“Slap Shot” came out in 1977. Dennis Maruk started playing for the Washington Capitals (the team he’s pictured with right here) in 1978. So is it any coincidence that Maruk looks just like Johnny Upton? No. It is no coincidence at all. It’s obvious where the inspiration came for this look and he pulled it off to perfection.
Claude Giroux
Usually I’m against using any sort of performance enhancers when it comes to facial hair, especially during Movember. But Claude Giroux dying his mustache black with those ginger locks flowing from the back of his helmet will never not get a laugh out of me. It’s like somebody drew that thing on with a sharpie.
George Parros
George Parros is a lock for the Mount Rushmore of NHL mustaches. Between the thick mo and the luscious flow, George Parros has one of the more signature looks in league history. There will never be able to be another player to come in with this sort of look without immediately getting compared to George Parros. And that’s how you know when you’ve really made a look become your own. When you become the standard, you own a look. And George Parros owns this look. There’s not a single other mustache in the world that I’d want to be the head of the Department of Player Safety. That’s a power stache.
Lanny McDonald
Speaking of signature looks…
I know that I said that George Parros is a lock for the Mount Rushmore, and he is. But if we’re talking about the GOAT? If we’re talking about the most iconic stache in the history of the league? Well it’s 500-goal scorer, Stanley Cup Champion, and Hall of Famer Lanny McDonald. Lanny looked like he came straight out of a time machine from 1876. Actually, scratch that. He didn’t look like he came out of a time machine at all, it just looked like he was born in 1876. He’s only 65-years-old right now. He looked 65 when he won the Cup with the Flames. So between just looking like a grandpa in general, the walrus stache and the helmet, nobody will ever look like Lanny McDonald for as long as the NHL still exists. There will never be another one quite like him. He’s the ultimate legend.
