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Drug Tester Shows Up To High School And Buzzes A Bunch Of Kids Heads Bald Because She Wanted To Clock Out And Go Home

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Source –  Drug testing has gone awry in one school district. At the beginning of each school year, parents of middle and high school students in Phillipsburg, Kan., sign consent forms for their children to be tested for drugs at random. If they don’t agree, the students can’t participate in sports or other extracurricular activities.

But what the parents didn’t consent to was having large chunks of their kids’ hair shaved off.

“The spot was the size of a quarter in the back of her head,” Jeanette Anderson told Yahoo Lifestyle of the hair sample taken from her 18-year-old daughter, Chantel. “She was about in tears when she told us about it. It was upsetting because it happened to her, but she also saw it happen to other kids and that was upsetting to her too.”

Hair follicles for drug testing are typically taken from multiple places on the head so that no bald spot will be visible.

Mike Gower, the school superintendent for USD 325, apologized to the Andersons right away. He told local news station KSNW that the schools would no longer use the drug testing company Compliance One. 

These kids are going to remember this day the rest of their lives. The day a rogue drug tester showed up from Topeka and aggressively buzzed the shit out of everyone’s head because she wanted to clock out and go home. I’m not going to lie, I kind of love it. It may seem like a big deal now, but I guarantee they’ll laugh about it when they get older. I mean this quote is unbelievable.

“This lady that did it — I don’t think she had a heart,” Chantel’s father, Brian Anderson, said. “She drove from Topeka up here, so that’s about four hours of driving. And when she got here all she wanted to do was go buzz, buzz, buzz and be done and turn around and go back home.”

I’m picturing her like a cross between a Marine Corp barber and the sloppy joe lady from Billy Madison.

Good on the school for doubling down too. Sorry your kid had to be sensitive about a little bald spot, but drugs are bad, mmkay? They’re just trying to protect the students from the evils of substance abuse- not by educating them, but by threatening punishment. Because we all know that the students with the tightest leashes are the ones who end up the most well adjusted. Hopefully that’s the case here.