MMBM: Impatient Millennials And Their "I Want It Now" Mindset Got Hue Jackson Unfairly Fired
I blame milleneal sports fans and their “I want it all now” philosophy for the firing of Browns coach Hue Jackson at a time when he was probably just starting to get things turned around. He had allready doubled his win total from the previous two years combined, and he had gone allmost a year without losing twice to the Bengals. It’s called progress and there’s no magic wand that you can wave to fix things over seven hundred overnights. Actualy I take that back- there is a magic wand- its called patience, and everyone who tweeted, texted, tindered, or snapfaced about Hue Jackson not satisfying there ADD for success is to blame for a good coach gone too soon.
Hate to say it but firing Hue Jackson might of cursed the Browns franchise moving forward if there not careful they’ll become a laughing stock and its all because of kids who would rather play fortnight on there nintendos than settle down with a nice big bowl of trusting the process. And its sad.
Sure you could of had a coach who won games- but then you woulnd’t of raised all that money for charity when Jackson had the inverse perfect season last year. So by firing Hue your saying you’d rather see kids die then win football games and thats just sad.
So yes, I guess The Cleveland Browns have taken the first step in turning there franchise around and thats admitting they have a problem. But back in old school America we gave folks a opportunity to improve before being tossed aside like yesterdays news. Theres a old quote from Henry Ford that says “if they had twitter back in the 1800s they would of massacred all the horses for not being cars yet.” And that really makes you think.
Having the leaders of both the Cavs and Browns gone in two days makes it seem like the last couple days were moves planned in a Cleveland beer hall. Its a deep state conspiracy by people who are sick of the possbility of so much winning happeneing in the near future. The firing of Hue Jackson shoud not be celbrated by anyone except for Hue Jackson who gets the distinct honor of not having to coach the Browns anymore. While I’ve been vocal in calling for Bob Wylie to be name the interim head coach I recognize that there are many other viable options including a Ty Lue/Hue Jackson wife swap- which would defnitely make Haley very jealous that he was not involved.
Other names to look out for include: The Rally Possum, Charlie Weiss and his parrot Sol Fuego, Bill Belichick and Nick Saban getting the band back together, the Dolphins O-line coach, the guy Urban Meyer fired after getting caught not firing him, and yes- Jeff Fisher who would have a statue built for him if he went 7-9 for the next 10 years in Cleveland.
In a situation like this its tough to not point fingers but lets see it for what it is- RG3 is a coach killer. Dont see anyone else discussing this point.
In conclusion, Hue Jackson has 3 wins in the last 3 years same as what you put at the start of a website- so maybe sometimes millneals and their internet dont have all the answers afterall.
Road Grader Of The Week: Joe Buck
Joe completed a ultra marathon of attending 4 fun cool sports games in 4 days- a feat of endurance and bravery that will never be matched. This included his call of the 18 inning Red Sox Dodgers game that spiraled into the absurd as Im pretty sure Buck and Smoltz spent the entire 14th inning in the nude listning to Jethro Tull I cant be sure I was heavly under the influence that just could of been me. Usualy when a buck helps you stay up til 3:30 in Los Angeles its rolled up not stretched out all across America.
Ten Things I Know I Know
1. It was strike one when Todd Gurley sold his own autograph for profit when he was at Georgia. Next he buys two cats- thats strike 2. Now he looses me money because he selfishly dosen’t consider the impact that his actions have on me- the protagonist of the world. I’m sure some fancy statistic shows that your more likely to win the game if you dont let the other team have the ball but on the other hand my math tells me that more points is better. Plus the psychological affect you get when you can beat the Packers AND Las Vegas in the same day shouldnt be underestmated.
Folks I call the LA Colleseum “The Oval Office” the way Gurleys were dropping to a knee in front of Clinton Dix.
2. Rick Pitino has made it be known that hes looking to get back into coaching in the NBA if they follow college baskbetall’s lead and shorten there shot clock. Obviously a man with Pitino’s accuracy would fit in quiet well on a team like the Cavs thats been shooting themselves in the foot all season. JR and Rick- two first team pipe allstars in my opinoin would be a force to be reckoned with out of the East even if they only ended up with the 7th or 8th spot, because say what you want about Rick but hes never had a problem with seeding.
Just goes to show you how brutal this podcasting game is. Pitino, in a real shocker, only lasted for two epsodes before he got tired and lost intrest. You’d think a guy whose use to ejactulating towards the ground would be more comfortbale in the world of down loads.
3. When youve got your Austalian punter quoting AC/DC after a big win your rolling
If you dont have a left-footed punter on your team you can settle for a Australian- the cultural equivlant of a left-footer. Its a double whammy were the receiving team dosen’t know which way the balls spinning because of the freakish nature of the mutant left foot gene or the coriolis affect. Two different ways of accomplishing the same objective.
4. Offically done with the turnover props all around top to bottom. Our nation lost its way when we decided it woud be better to give a reward to the defense for doing there job as opposed to simply giving the person who committed the turnover a prop to shame him. If you fumble you should get a turnover chain and a bell that you can use to lash yourself and ring while chanting “shame” untill you get the chance to redeem yourself. Kirk Cousins just isnt hard enough on himself whereas a road grader like me- i try to be hard on myself at least once a day.
5. The Chiefs are 12-0 this season on coin flip which is more impressve than the 1972 Dolphins running the table against a bunch of teams that didnt have Larry Csonka on them. Your best abilty is your probablitiy and the Kansas City Captains need to go find a roulette table asap and put it all on Reid.
6. Adrian Peterson went up into MetLife Stadium and proved that he has plently left in the tank especally when he gets to play in New Jersey and legally hes not allowed to pump his own gas. Saquon Barkley played terrbly on defense and at QB, and you just have to feel bad for Eli having to deal with his team playing worse while coincindentally he’s starting to regress terribly as well. AP also got his cleat stuck in a opponets facemask last week which is a real shock that it hadnt happen to Vontaze Burfict first.
7. We’ve got the NFCs biggest matchup so far this year coming on Sunday as the Rams travel to New Orleans to take on the Saints where two Seans will enter but only one will be able to make people forget that they share a first name with your nextdoor neighbor who grows shitty weed and has a BMX bike with pegs but dosen’t have a friend to ride with on it. Folks I call McVay the Seanmower because that offense is chewing up turf out in Los Angeles.
This matchup is a battle of two head coaches who look exactly like the other one would look if they lived for 15 years in the other guys city. Do you have any idea how hard it is to live in New Orleans as a millonaire for 12 years and not come out looking like John Goodman? All things considrered I think Payton is doing ok for himself. If the Rams win there basicaly got the 1 seed locked down, but if they lose they have to circle the wagons and head down to Mexico City in a couple weeks. Los Angeles New Orleans and Mexico City is the Devils triangle of margaritas and if the Rams can win back to back to back in those three party towns they could win a superbowl in Ibiza.
8. Jon Gruden admitted in a interview with Playboy, via ESPN, via The Ringer, via my twitter account, via this blog, that he lost his virginty to the Notre Dame fight song so I got to thinking what songs other coaches might of knocked boots for the first time to:
Jason Garret: The score to the HMS Pentafore
Jay Gruden: Also the Notre Dame Fight song because him and Jon were in the same brothel with the same girl as is tradition in the Gruden household.
Sean McVay: Mo Bamba
Jim Caldwell: The pledge of allegience
Mike McCarthy: Not sure but it probably prominently featured a tuba
Bill Belichick: The scene in Red Dragon where the reporter is getting tortuted and lit on fire
Hue Jackson: Something on a banjo given his determination to score using things that everyone else would consider 5th stringers
Greg Schiano: The Fox NFL injury music
Doug Pederson: Salt N Peppa
Andy Reid: I am the walrus
Coach O: It was tough to be sure but hes pretty sure the gator was singing Dixie
Rex Ryan: Gimme three steps
Mike Shanahan: Staring at the sun
Jim Tomsula: Whatever song Ron Jeremy leaves on while his body doubles step in for some b-roll
Nick Saban: N/A sex takes away to much time from recruiting
9. If anyone didnt think Trump isnt using this as a dog whistle to way in on the Bucs QB controversey with this tweet your a liar:
10. When Antonio Cromarte is calling you a hoe youve offically lost the argument
