Arby's (Yes, Arby's) Is Getting Real Sick And Tired Of The Detroit Red Wings Not Scoring Enough
The Red Wings have been having a pretty rough go at it early on so far in the 2018-19 NHL season. Through 9 games, the team is 1-6-2 and have a goal differential of -19. I don’t think anybody came into this season with any actual expectations for this team considering Zetterberg is calling it a career and they didn’t bring in anybody of significance to replace him. But even so, that’s a brutal start to the year. They’ve been so bad, in fact, that Arby’s had to step in and change up one of their promotional giveaways just because the team stinks so much that the giveaway was becoming irrelevant.
In the 9 games that the Red Wings have played this year, they have only scored at least 3 goals three times. They lost to the Maple Leafs 5-3. They lose to the Canadiens 7-3. And they beat the Panthers 4-3 in overtime this past Saturday night. They currently have the 5th fewest goals scored in the entire league.
All Arby’s wants to do is hand out some free curly fries in Detroit. They are practically begging the Red Wings to let them hand out free curly fries to everyone. Next thing you know, they’re going to have to change the promotional giveaway to “any time the team completes 3 line changes in a row without getting hit with a too-many-men penalty”. If Arby’s had this promotion with Toronto, there would only be 2 games so far without free curly fries. 10 games for the Leafs so far and they’ve scored at least 3 goals in 8 of them. Arby’s would be bankrupt before American Thanksgiving. They’d be out of business so fast if they had to give away that many fries for free. But with Detroit? Well they lose more fries just throwing away the leftovers at the end of the day than they do from the Red Wings scoring at least 3 goals in a single game. That can’t be great for team morale.
I’m starting to think that maybe someone within the Red Wings organization is associated with Arby’s and that’s why they’re not scoring this year. Buddy doesn’t want to give away free fries the same way that Jackie Moon doesn’t want to give away free corndogs.