Undraftable: 6-Year-Old Invites 32 Of His Classmates To His Birthday Party And No One Shows Up

Can’t do it. I hate to do this, but I have to cross Teddy off my 2030 big board. I’m a big preacher of not letting history repeat itself and if Sonny Weaver Jr. taught us anything in Draft Day, it’s that you can’t trust a guy who had no one show up to their own birthday party. Bo Callahan 2.0 folks. There’s a reason behind everything, and clearly this kid pissed off his entire class to have this happen to him. Maybe he didn’t share munchkins that one time his mom had him bring them into class, maybe he cheats during manhunt, maybe he’s a closet bully, who knows? Either way, this is as big a red flag as they come and I won’t have any of it. Teddy might have a rocket arm in 12 years, but those character issues are staggering.

On the real, fuck these parents for taking his picture like that. That’s the saddest thing on Earth, and now the whole world knows it. Sure the Phoenix Suns are going to host him tomorrow night and make his day special, but I’d rather just be left alone and not let the whole world know I got no-showed by 32 friends for my pizza birthday.

I don’t need your sympathy, I just won’t give you a call when I make it big and you’re a nobody. Hey can I come on your yacht with all those smokeshows? No shot pal, remember when you ghosted me on my birthday when I was six? I hope he holds onto this grudge forever.

Also, I know no one showed up, but someone is going to TOWN on those pizzas.

I too have no idea how this is a national story.