Previewing Every Barstool Blogger's College Hoops Team For The 2018-19 Season

There’s a couple things readers of this site love. One is sports, two is talking shit and three is talking shit about sports. Well what’s better than getting a little knowledge on where everyone went to school so with college hoops season here you can really ramp up your shit talking?

Let me save you the low hanging fruit by answering honestly. Yes, bloggers actually do graduate from college and attend school. So let’s take a look at the schools your Barstool guys have a history with and might as well start with the guy who would demand to go first anyways.

Now, I’ve done this the last few years and it was easier when I first started because we didn’t have as many people. But this year we have a ton more so there’s a chance I forget someone. Here’s the list though:

Michigan (Pres/Mike Grinnell) – The national runner-up from last year return a good amount of production despite losing Muhammad-Ali Abdur-Rahkman and Moe Wagner. That said, Charles Matthews is a guy that can be a go-to player for Michigan. Plus, they have John Beilein and if you have John Beilein you’ll be fine. Jordan Poole is a guy who will shoot up NBA Draft boards. Michigan will be the favorites to win the Big 10 heading into the season and if Poole lives up to the hype, pairing him with Charles Matthews should lead to another NCAA Tournament run to the second weekend.

The Moon (Erika Nardini) – There’s no doubt that our CEO is taking us there. We’ll have our own NCAA Tournament on the moon.

Wisconsin (Big Cat, Sam’s Army, Frank Kaminsky) – I’m not going to lie. I’m not high on Wisconsin this year and it’s upsetting some people. I get it, you love your team. I also get that last year was a young team that dealt with injuries. But, I question just how talented this team is. We know all about Ethan Happ and you know that he’ll be an All-American with a double-double, but can he carry this team for a second straight year? Kobe King is the player that should help him out the most this year.

Maryland (Nate, Banks, RDT) – It was a bit of a weird offseason for Maryland. The player that many thought they’d lose during the season decided to return in Bruno Fernando. Then you had Kevin Huerter fly up the draft board into a top-20 pick. There’s no doubt that loss of Huerter hurts, but this is a team that should finish top-4 in the Big 10. Turgeon is bringing in one hell of a recruiting class to pair with Fernando and Anthony Cowan. The question will be if he can develop these guys quick enough to all gel together this season.

Fordham (KFC, Super Producer BC, JackMac, Tommy Smokes, Spider) – It’s not going to be a great year for Fordham. You don’t have a great year after already being a below average team and lose your best player to transfer like Fordham did with Joseph Chartouny. Not to mention Fordham also loses Tre Evans, who decided to go to JuCo. Shout out Rose Hill Gym.

Iowa (Trent) – Iowa returns pretty much everyone from last year’s team, including four guys who averaged double digit scoring. There’s also four guys off the bench returning that played 40% of the minutes last season. Here’s the problem though. Iowa was flat out awful defensively last year. I mean, they ranked 242nd in the country, giving up 108 points per 100 possessions. The only thing they did well was not foul. If Iowa doesn’t take a jump defensively, it won’t finish in the top-8 in the Big 10. Granted, it was a young team last year and even a relatively young team this year, it’s hard to imagine this team all of a sudden being average defensively.

Texas-San Antonio (Uncle Chaps) – Meep meep, motherfuckers. Jhivvan Jackson is one of the most electric scorers in the country last season. The freshman started just 9 games last year and scored over 18 per game. He attempted over 7 threes per game and shot 37%. He’s the main reason as to why UTSA will compete in C-USA. Remember, it’s a different schedule set up in the conference with the top-4 playing just each other at the end of the year. UTSA should be in that group.

Florida State (Feits) – It was huge to get Phil Cofer back for a 5th year thanks to a medical redshirt. The return of Cofer and David Nichols transferring in from Albany is just part of the reason as to why Florida State is a top-15 team in the preseason. That said, they have a bunch of 6’6? dudes that can score and switch defensively. M.J. Walker and Terrence Mann should lead the way for Florida State.

Susquehanna (Smitty) – Susquehanna has a bit of a weird roster. The Riverhawks (still a terrible name) are incredibly deep. Nobody played more than 29 minutes per game and eight played at least 19. Only two guys averaged double digits in points and they both return. They went 7-7 in the Landmark Conference last year.

Ursinus (Jordie) –  It was a decent year for Ursinus last year, finishing 4th in the Centennial Conference – an absolutely loaded D3 conference. They should compete again this year despite losing top scorer Zach Quattro. Returning to Urinsius is Ryan McTamney and Eric Williams – the only other two to average double digits last year though. Now, if they can just get some enforcers, we might see a Centennial Conference title.

Emory (Kmarko) – Emory always seems to be a competitive D3 program. It’s good to see a school like that get some breaks. They finished 12th in the country last year 23-5 and 12-2 in the conference. It was also their 4th trip to the Sweet 16 in 5 seasons. The reason why? 82 points per game.

Harvard (Riggs, Francis) – Bryce Aiken and Seth Towns is as good of a duo as you’ll see in the Ivy and one of the better duos in the country. Aiken returns after missing about half of the year last year due to injury and Towns is the reigning Ivy League Player of the Year. Yes, Penn won the Ivy last year, but Harvard is the favorite this season. What Tommy Amaker has done there has been remarkable, especially in a recruiting landscape. We’ve never really seen an Ivy League team recruit like this.

UNC (Caleb) – We are seeing one of the better recruiting classes in recent memory coming in for UNC led by Coby White and Nassir Little. I know Luke Maye will draw a ton of talk, but Cam Johnson is the name here for me. I think with him finally healthy for the entire season you’re going to see him take advantage of the attention going towards those other three guys. Kenny Williams’ health is another key thing to watch this season. The other key will be how quick Coby White is able to pick up as the lead guard for UNC. I’ve talked about it before but what Roy likes to do with secondary transition is so important and that’s part of what made Berry/Paige so great.

Penn State (Rone) – It’s a shame that Penn State won’t have Tony Carr this year. I say that only for fans of Penn State. Obviously Carr made the move to the NBA so good for him. But, that move likely cost Penn State a NCAA Tournament chance because of how important he is to the Penn State offense. Now defensively? Josh Reaves is one of the five best defenders in the country. Lamar Stevens, Reaves and Mike Watkins will have to carry this team.

Northwestern (WhiteSoxDave) – Derek Pardon has the potential to be an All-Big 10 team, but I think you see another struggle season for Northwestern. Chris Collin relied on Bryant McIntosh so much and without him there, can someone else draw the defense away for Pardon and Vic Law to attack? A couple of years ago, Northwestern finally broke into the NCAA Tournament, now Collins needs to find a new class to build around.

Siena (Clem) – It breaks my heart to give Clem bad news simply because he’s the most lovable, nicest dude in the world. But, Siena is going to stink. I mean they may be Ereck Flowers bad. Last year was a disaster with Jimmy Patsos resigning and Nico Clareth leaving in the middle of the year. It’s going to be a rebuilding team and Siena does have a chance to build around a young class.

Red Sox (Carrabis) – Is David Price good?

The Troops (PFT) – A real gritty team, one that brings their lunch box to work every day. A bunch of grinders that fight for the win. A real scrappy bunch.

Illinois (Carl/Chief/Chuck Naso) – Listen, I’m going to keep trusting Brad Underwood. I know he struggled last year and this year may not be great. But, Underwood is one hell of a coach and there’s a reason as to why Illinois hired him. He’s going to turn this thing around. This year he’ll rely on guys like Kipper Nichols, Trent Frazier and Ayo Dosunmu.

Shanghai Sharks (Donnie) – Feed Jimmer.

Conor McGregor (Robbie Fox) – Fook the haters and the court system.

UMass (Coley/Pat)  –One of the likely most improved teams in the country has an absolute star in Luwane Pipkins. He averaged over 21 points, 4 assists and 3 rebounds per game. Getting him back to go with four major transfers (Curtis Cobb, Johnathan Laurent, Keon Clergeot and Kieran Haywood) all of whom had the year within the system and you have a team that should be good. There’s a chance that UMass finishes in the top-4 in the A-10, but still feel a year away from really competing for the title and a NCAA Tournament berth.

Kentucky (Reags/Tyler) – Kentucky has the blend that has worked for them in the past. Sophomores returning, a veteran leader, and a top recruiting class. The question will be shooting, but Tyler Herro and Jermal Baker (if he’s healthy) should alleviate that. They are one of the deepest teams in the country this year too. PJ Washington is a possible All-American and there’s NBA talent with guys like Keldon Johnson and EJ Montgomery. Throw in the grad transfer in Reid Travis and you may just see Tyler and I at Two Keys celebrating a title.

Syracuse (Hubbs) – If Syracuse can get consistent shooting and develop at least a 7-man rotation, they’ll be much improved. Tyus Battle will show up on All-American teams. The other important key? Can Frank Howard take care of the ball. He had a turnover rate of 22% as Syracuse was 232nd in turnover rate as a team. For a team that struggled offensively, that didn’t help the cause. That said, Syracuse fans should be excited for this year. This team feels like a second weekend team.

Army (Capt. Cons) – There’s not another team in the country I’d want protecting the United States more than Army. They got that going for them. They were one of the more entertaining teams to watch due to their tempo. They want to push tempo and launch threes. That won’t change this season. That said, they’re likely a middle of the pack Patriot League team.

Arizona State (Greenie) – Gone is the 3-headed backcourt monster of Tra Holder, Shannon Evans and Kodi Justice. That said, Romello White and De’Quan Lake return in the frontcourt this year. Plus super-sub Remy Martin moves into the starting role. Bobby Hurley will want to run again this year and try to outscore you. We saw them fall apart in the second half of the year last year, so the question is just how good is this team? Personally, they feel more like 7th or 8th in the Pac-12. There’s talent there, I just don’t know how much depth they have to go with guys like Martin and White.

Ohio State (Ohio’s Tate/Big Ev) –  Ohio State should be a tournament team again this year and a possible top-4 team in the Big 10. They’ll have some balance to this roster as two guys (Kaleb Wesson and CJ Jackson) were double-digit scorers last season. They are bringing in another guy in Keyshawn Woods from Wake who can score with the best of them. Don’t sleep on the recruiting class either in Luther Muhammad and Musa Jallow. I’m also going to blindly trust Chris Holtmann to always get the most out of his guys. He’s one of the 20 best coaches in the country. We saw him do this at Butler and his first year at Ohio State. Now with a ton of talent coming into the program, he’ll have this thing rolling.

IUPUI (Mantis) –  They should probably just let Mantis play 15 minutes a game and launch threes. The dude’s jumper makes no sense but I have yet to see him miss. What I do love about the Jaguars? Head coach Jason Gardner. One of my all time favorite players when he was at Arizona. He has them forcing turnovers too.

Duke (Marty Mush/Hank) –  I felt pretty good about not picking Duke to win the title and having them 5th in my preseason poll when I saw Marty saying they were going to win it all. Tre Jones will be vital here. He needs to be similar to his brother and keep everyone happy in terms of driving and kicking while getting his. Tyus was excellent at that during the title run. I do have concerns about how the roster fits and what K tries to do with Bolden/DeLaurier at the big spot. That said, RJ Barrett is the most talented player in the country this season.

Texas A&M (Kayce) – After having a ton of depth at the frontcourt spot last season, the Aggies lose all three in Robert Williams, Tyler Davis and Tonny Trocha-Morales along with DJ Hogg. This year there’s a ton of depth in the backcourt, but I just don’t know how talented this team is. TJ Starks, Admon Gilder, Wendell Mitchell, Savion Flagg, Brandon Mahan and Jay Chandler, will make up the majority of the minutes, we’ll just see if they can figure it out.

Texas (Liz) – Ultimately it’s going to come down to improvements on the offensive side of the ball. Despite losing Bamba, Texas will be fine defensively. Will they be 12th in the country? Probably not. But, they’ll likely still be top-25. Can a couple of these freshmen – who are entering as great athletes – fill a scoring void? Can one of the guys like Matt Coleman, who was a highly regarded recruit, make the jump this year and be more consistent offensively? Unfortunately we already had bad news out of Texas as Andrew Jones fractured his toe in practice after beating leukemia.

Manhattan (KenJac) – The Jaspers are going to need Pauly Paulicap (might not be a better name to school combo than this) to take a jump as the go-to guy this year after losing three seniors. The other key here will be how healthy Aaron Walker is this season. They’ll struggle in the MAAC this year. If they don’t struggle then the big time movie boys will have a Disney-esque movie to review.

Georgetown (Fran) –  I’ll admit, I was skeptical of the Patrick Ewing hire. I questioned how well he’d adapt to the college game after spending years as an assistant in the NBA. That said, I was wildly impressed with him in year 1 at Georgetown. They would have been a likely NCAA Tournament team this year had Marcus Derrickson been around for another year. That said Jessie Govan is a possible Big East Player of the Year. Ewing is bringing in a big time recruiting class led by James Akinjo – the starting point guard and highlight-reel Mac McClung. The one name to remember here? Sophomore JaMorko Pickett, a 6’7? forward that averaged over 9 per game last year. He slides into the second or third option here.

People’s Choice Awards (Ria and Fran) – CITO to win the People’s Choice Awards. You heard it here first.

Indiana University (Pennsylvania) (Kate) – Don’t look now, but Kate might have the most fun watching her former school this year. IUP is ranked No. 3, not only in party schools, but also in the Division 2 preseason rankings. Jacobo Diaz is an All-American and this team is coming off of a 22-8 season. Might have to really tune into that exhibition game vs Kentucky.

Texas Tech (Dallas Braden) – Last year was a breakout year for Chris Beard and Texas Tech. Now, Chris Beard is consistently talked about as a top-25 coach in America and rightfully so. While they do lose the heart and soul in Keenan Evans, Jarrett Culver is a guy who can be a go-to player for Texas Tech. One thing you know about them? Defense will be preached. They should be an NCAA Tournament team again this year.