Another HUGE Mega Millions Jackpot Tonight - How Many Lottery Tickets Can One Buy AGAIN And Not Feel Like A Complete Jackass Once You Inevitably Lose?
ABCNEWS – Almost $1 billion in combined grand prize money could await lottery players with tickets for the Mega Millions and Powerball lottery games this week. The jackpot for Mega Millions has reached $654 million, with a cash option of $372.6 million, since no one claimed the jackpot last Friday night. The potential jackpot is the second highest in game history. The largest, just $2 million more, was drawn in March 2012.
Disclaimer: REBLOG of a REBLOG that gets basically REBLOGGED the drawing day when the lottery gets over a half a billion. Enjoy!
Well it’s that time of year again. A time when a bunch of us we can basically reblog the same exact thing when the lottery reaches a jackpot of over $500 million or so! What a time to be alive! Again!
The Mega Millions tonight sits at $654 mill for now, which means you’d get around $372 mill in a cash payout. That’s almost(?) a half a billion clams of straight cash homie. Almost every time the lottery gets this high multiple people blog about what they would do if they hit the Jaccpot Records. Feits would stay at home and legally marry Netflix. Pres would still be finding a way to make his horses tax deductible. Nate would spend it on much needed Pageviews. I’ve talked about this before, and since we are all degenerates and are going to buy lottery tickets, riddle me this: How many can tickets can you buy without feeling like a complete jackass once you inevitably lose? Because this is basically my reaction every damn time:
1 in 302 million are the odds. We’ll probably see the sun shine on some toothless redneck’s ass for the first time since he blew up his wife/sister’s trailer in a meth lab explosion. But for the rest of us, we’ll be left in the dust. Chris Singleton of the Wizards bought $10K in loterry tix a few years back and I guess if you’re illiterate it seems like a golden investment. Maywheather (again, literacy precedent here) will probably buy a million and only Tweet it out if he nets a profit. Personally I only got $10 worth because I want to eat this week. Generally speaking, if I see you spend more than $20 by yourself* on something this mathematically impossible I’ll kindly ask you to step into my mansion filled with unicorns, for I have a bridge I want to sell you. Good luck out there, suckers.
*Group plays, like through work, are the way to go. Get 20 people to drop $5, increase the odds, WIN millions then bask in making fun of the suicidal sap in the office who didn’t want to play that specific week. And yes, I would kill myself if that were ever to happen to me.
PS – It’s very depressing that the odds of getting killed by an asteroid are roughly on par with winning a 10 team parlay. Also, death by vending machine only 1 in 112 mill? I didn’t even know those kind of snack related mishaps occurred in real life. 2 killer, old school Simpsons references in one blog? Don’t mind if I do.