Auston Matthews, That Goddamn Psychopath, Went Ahead And Had Himself Another 2 Goal Night
Jesus christ. Alright so let’s just do a quick rundown of the numbers real quick. Through 5 games this season, Auston Matthews has stuffed the back of the net 9 times and has 12 points on the year. I hate to be the “this guy’s on track for” guy this early into the season, but it doesn’t seem like this psychopath is slowing down any time soon so let’s do it anyway. This dude is on pace for 147 goals and 197 points. Those are Gretzky numbers right there. And what’s even more ridiculous is that Auston actually took over one of Wayne’s records last night.
Gretzky Stats are some of the most fake life shit in the world. None of them seem possible. So anytime anybody can take a record away from 99, it’s a big deal. 2 goals in the season opener. A goal and an assist against Ottawa. 2 and 2 against Chicago. Another 2 goals in Dallas on Tuesday. And then there was last night.
Here’s what is so sick about this goal. That left circle on the powerplay has been a Kill Zone for years now. Guys like Ovechkin, Stamkos and Laine have all been abusing goalies from that circle on the powerplay. Now that circle also belongs to Auston Matthews. But the difference is that Ovi, Stamkos and Laine are all right handed shooters. Matthews is on the wrong side here and he’s still picking guys apart.
First of all–I don’t care if this was originally intended to go to Kadri. This was a filthy little set up by Tavares. Somebody make sure that Frankie sees this GIF.
And secondly–this is how you know that Auston is just on one right now. Because realistically, Kadri should have put that one home himself and then the multi-point streak for Matthews is over. But Helm gets a stick on Kadri with a little 43 on 43 crime, and the puck just squeaks right out to Matthews to bury it in an empty net. You gotta be an absolute stud to get lucky.
So now what? I said that my promise to all of you is that I will continue to blog about Auston Matthews daily until his multi-point streak comes to an end. Their next game is tomorrow night against Washington. Matthews vs Ovi. That one has 3 or 4 points written all over it. I honestly think I’m going to be stuck writing about Auston Matthews every day until June at this point. And I don’t hate it. Just look at this sweet boy. Impossible to hate.