Professional Weirdo Rick Dollbanger Says Sex Bots are Going to Colonize Mars

Source – SEX-BOTS will help humans colonise Mars, according to a love-doll enthusiast who helps “test drive” randy robots.

YouTuber, love-doll collector and sex-bot consultant Brick Dollbanger told The Sun that we’ll soon by relying on droids for space travel – and said we’ll eventually become bots ourselves.

A divorced property developer in his 60s, Brick (not his real name) has been buying sex dolls for over a decade, and regularly advises California sex robot firm Realbotix on their upcoming Harmony love droid.

And he’s convinced they’re going to help advance the human race: “I think we have to remember [sex robots] are here to help us expand our knowledge, our experience, and that’s what they have to direct this technology to do.”

Speaking to The Sun, Brick explained how sex-bots are driving robotics innovation – and advanced versions in the future will help us set up shop on Mars.

“I believe robots will colonise Mars. They’re gonna build the colony, we’re gonna come along later,” he explained.

Far be it for me to contradict Brick Dollbanger. I’m just a humble writer and stand up, and I can’t claim to know as a much as a divorced, 60-something love doll enthusiast and collector. Who am I to argue with a man who beta tests vaguely female-shaped machines by sticking his dick into them and then writes product reviews for the manufacturer when I’ve never been within 50 miles of one?

That said, call me old fashioned, but I’m not ready to colonize other worlds by sending the kinds of creeps who fuck robots. When we do finally seek out new life and new civilizations, I want them to meet our best and brightest. When we boldly go where no man has gone before, I want it to be other solar systems, not mechanical vaginas. That’s probably an antiquated, overly-romanticized notion. Maybe I’m too inspired by the Age of Discovery when daring men made it to the poles, to the summit of mountains, even to the moon, without banging their huskies, their Sherpas and Buzz Aldrin. They either went without altogether or maybe rubbed one out when no one was looking and carried on. They certainly didn’t proclaim to the world “Well, my android sex toy and I are off! Wish us luck!”

Who knows? Maybe Bick is a visionary. Like Jules Verne predicted the submarine, maybe he’s got this all right and our Mars colony will be all horny creepshow guys and fake-looking, lifeless women with artificial parts. Basically a big, reddish Las Vegas. But I’ve seen too many movies where the A.I. goes haywire and starts killing everyone. HAL 2000 in 2001. Ash and Bishop in the Alien movies (the good ones). So I can’t trust that the ones Mr. Dollbanger approves of because they give great cyberhead won’t do the same. After all, the only thing they’ll have seen of humanity are the people who built them and the men who test them out, so why wouldn’t they?