This New Tom Brady Drinking Story Explains Why He's the GOAT
Scott Zolak and Patriots writer Jeff Howe have a new book about about the Pats called If These Walls Could Talk that includes quite possibly the rarest of all Tom Brady anecdotes: A drinking story. One that I had never heard before, even while reading the single greatest Patriots book ever written. My own.
I wish I’d known this one, because it’s one of the best Brady drinking stories I’ve ever heard. Or to put it more accurately in this case, a Tom Brady non-drinking story. This was from the winter of 2002, not long after the Super Bowl win over the Rams, when the team went out for the traditional dinner/booze-a-thon, to be paid for by the rookies.
“Brady recognized where the night was heading and got out in front of it. My father, Joe Howe, was the bar manager at Abe & Louie’s for years, and he worked the bar for that party. Brady pulled my father aside with a special request: ‘When they order me a shot, please just give me a water. I’ll pay for the shot if I have to. I just can’t drink that stuff all night.’
“So as the team was getting legless by the end of the night, Brady was the most sober guy in the room, and no one had any idea that he was drinking water. Linebacker Willie McGinest, who always treated my father great, saddled up on a barstool, had his head in his hands and lamented as he looked at a completely coherent Brady: ‘Joe, who is this guy? First, he takes over for Drew Bledsoe. Then, he wins us a Super Bowl. Now, he can outdrink all of us? What can’t this guy do?’”
Goddammit, Brady. Even back then, at the age of 24, he was thinking 10 steps ahead of everybody else. Looking over his pre-snap reads, checking his coverage, identifying the pressure, rolling his protection, figuring out the angles, exploiting weaknesses and demonstrating the kind of situational awareness that had just won him his first ring and would win him many more.
Right then and there everyone in the room should’ve figured out he was something special. Don’t get me wrong. Throwing for 300 yards against Oakland in a blizzard was impressive. Calmly moving his team into field goal range while the final seconds of the Super Bowl bled off the clock was next level. But a 24 year old living off the bare minimum salary of a 6th round pick’s second season passing up the chance to get shitfaced on somebody else’s tab is practically unheard of. I’m twice the age he was then. And if I’m someplace with an open bar, I pre-order the rideshare because I know I’m getting too liquored up to work the app. Maybe his total restraint and my complete lack of it are the reasons he was leading a team of veterans before he was old enough to rent a car and I’m sitting in a Free Brady shirt writing about him.
Overall, I’d say this is still just the second best Brady drinking tale to date. The best is still the one told by Ross Tucker, Patriots center for the 2005 season who has told this one:
The first was when some of the veteran offensive linemen started talking to the rookies about a chugging contest. No big deal for these guys and given that they were fresh out of college, you would think they’d be at the top of their game. I was surprised to see Brady take part. The rookies looked at the seemingly pretty boy quarterback and laughed. I think I snickered myself.
We all should’ve known better.
I still have never seen anybody chug a beer faster than Tom Brady. You should’ve seen the way he slammed down his cup — it was like he was spiking the ball after a TD. It was hilarious. It was awesome. It was textbook Brady.
See, that one I can relate to. Leadership takes on many forms. From not drinking to out-chugging the room to drinking banana-kale smoothies. Sober, pounding beers or sucking down weirdo shakes, he’s always been The GOAT at life.