Absolute SMOKESTACK Lesbian Couple Saves A Litter Of Puppies From A Burning Car Set Fire By Terrorists
[Editor’s Note: This is solely a Clickbate Smits production. All about the content, pageviews, and jokes!]
WOW! What a story from the Gods of Pageviews! Did it really happen that way? Well, kind of…
SACRAMENTO, CA (KOVR/CNN) – Two children and a woman were rescued from a burning car on Wednesday. The rescue happened on Interstate 80 and Madison Avenue in Sacramento. Kenneth Knox says he noticed flames shooting out from underneath a car and knew he needed to do something. The car Knox saw had a woman driving her two grandchildren buckled in the back. “Flames came out of both sides,” said Kenneth Knox.n Kenneth said he no choice but to force that car off the road. “Got my car real close to her car,” he said. He said the driver had no idea her car was on fire. “When we went up to the window she says, ‘why’d you pull me over?’ I said, ‘your car’s on fire…’ she said, ‘oh my god my babies,’” he said. Kenneth didn’t think twice before opening the back door. “There’s a three-year-old and five-year-old strapped in car seats, so we started scrambling and got them out and got her out,” he said. Kenneth’s wife, Dianne, was on the phone with 911, with seconds to spare. “It was like, ‘we’ve got to get her out of here,’” said Dianne. “We had a job to do: get the kids out,” said Kenneth. The car did burst into flames, and the grandmother and children were able to get out unharmed. “I got to hold the baby and carried him back to the ambulance. Boy, it hit me really hard,” Kenneth said. The Knoxes said they had one more thing to do before leaving. They went to the back of their car, removed their grandchild’s car seat, and handed it to the woman who just lost both of hers. “This poor woman is sitting there shaking, and, you know, just got one more thing off her mind,” said Dianne. It was a good deed reminding them what life’s really about. “We got in the car after we gave he the car seat, she started crying because of that and we just sat and hugged each other for a minute,” Kenneth and Dianne said.
Ah, the ol’ GOTCHA blog! A tale as old as time for bloggers desperate for Pageviews! Did you see what I did there? I insinuated HOT lesbians saved a litter of cute puppies from a burning car set ablaze by terrorists, but in reality it was an elderly heterosexual couple who saved two woman and a child from a burning car in which nobody knows how it caught on fire! You got GOT! We were SO CLOSE to the facts, but does it matter? NOPE! Because if other bloggers are allowed to use misdirection in their headlines in the name of the Pageview, why can’t we all do it?!?!! Isn’t this grand, folks?!?! I don’t even know anymore! All I know is the oath of law our fearless leader Davey Pageviews has proclaimed: When everybody gets Pagevies, EVERYBODY gets Pageviews!!!!!!
