Six Flags St. Louis Offers $300 To Anyone Pathetic Enough To Spend 30 Hours In A Coffin

Inside Edition- Six Flags St. Louis in Missouri is offering up a frightful challenge just ahead of Halloween.

The Fright Fest 30-Hour Coffin Challenge will see six guests take up residence in “slightly used” 2-by-7-foot coffins from 1 p.m. Oct. 13 to 7 p.m. Oct. 14 — a total of 30 hours. 

Don’t worry, though — the caretakers aren’t completely unreasonable. Every hour, the lucky chosen ones will be allowed one six-minute bathroom break. Food and water will be provided, and contestants will be allowed a friend to keep them company during the day.

At night, however … you’re on your own.

OoooOOOOoooo how spooky! How frightful! You have to lie down, in a comfortable coffin, for 30-hours? With bathroom breaks every single hour and a friend to keep you company during the day? Jesus Christ the world is getting soft. Back in my day, you’d go to the theme park and spend the entire day fighting the urge to get into the van with the nice older man who promised you free dippin’ dots if you came aboard for a quick spin around the parking lot. And nobody paid you a dime if you made it. All you got was a dry, hot mouth with no taste of those delicious, cold, pebbly dots.

The scary thing is, people will actually do this. For $10/hr. Presumably on a weekend. There are people out there who are willing to give up an entire weekend to lie down for $10/hour. I feel like those clinical sleep trials at research labs pay more? And you get to sleep in an actual bed?

Here’s what you get if you complete the nightmare:

Two 2019 Gold Season passes, a Fright Fest package that includes two VIP Haunted House passes and a ticket for two on the Freak Train, as well as $300. If there is more than one winner, the $300 will be awarded by random drawing.

Presuming that 6 people will complete this because it’s insanely easy, you have a 16.5% chance of winning $300, and you lose 1.5 days of your life for that 16.5% chance. Luckily, you’ll definitely win the gold season passes and a the fright fest package with the VIP haunted house passes and a ticket for two on the freak train, which is exactly where you fucking belong. Enjoy the coffin!