Surviving Barstool | New Episodes Tuesday, Wednesday & Thursday 8PM ETTUNE IN

Colin Kaepernick's Lawyer Hints the Raiders and Patriots are Interested in Signing Him

Source - Colin Kaepernick and Tom Brady … on the same team???

That seems to be the suggestion coming from Colin’s attorney, Mark Geragos — who’s teasing to TMZ Sports that two NFL teams could be interested in signing the QB … and Geragos started dropping hints about the 2 teams.

The first clue obviously points to the Oakland Raiders.

“I’ll say this … if Al Davis was still alive.” …

The other clue was a little more abstruse, but he suggests Patriots owner Robert Kraft could be interested in Colin.

Oookaaayyy … So the Raiders and Patriots are interested in Colin Kaepernick. Or is it the Raiders will be interested once Al Davis finally retakes his physical form and reassembles all the parts of his soul he hid in Horcruxes?

Al Davis

Sure. That makes sense. There is nothing Lord Aldemort loved more than going against the grain and signing any guy he thought would piss off the league offices and get him headlines. But he’s probably still months if not years from re-obtaining corporeal form. Which leads me to Mark Geragos hinting? Suggesting? Presupposing the Patriots are interested in Kaepernick because … what? Mr. Kraft went to bat for Meek Mill to get him out of jail? And Kaepernick is friends with Meek so therefore there’s a place for him on the Patriots’ 53? Is that it?

Even going by the standards of agents looking for work for their unemployed clients, that is goofy beyond words. It doesn’t work even from a pure football perspective. A read-option quarterback being signed by a precision passing team. A team chasing the next ring with no time to lose, making space for a QB who hasn’t played in over a year. A GM who won’t overpay any position signing a backup who allegedly has turned down other teams because the money isn’t good enough. Not a chance.

And yet … I hate to even play this game because I know agentspeak when I hear it. But goddammit, it’s hard not to be tempted to see it happen. Just for the sheer, tumultuous, Internet-shattering hysteria it would create. The country’s most polarizing team signing it’s most polarizing player. The owner, coach and quarterback most associated with Trump partnering up with the face of Antifa. The people hated by the left metaphorically linking arms with the guy hated by the right.

Watching the shit from this alone would be worth tying up a roster spot because there’s never been a story like it. If I can shoehorn in yet another nerd culture reference, on Star Trek they always said that if the matter in the Enterprise’s warp drive ever came in contact with an identical particle of anti-matter in the warp drive, it would destroy the universe. (Nice design feature, by the way. Consider that next time your car get rejected for an inspection sticker because it didn’t pass the emissions test.) That is what this would be. The Patriots’ matter coming in contact with their anti-matter, Colin Kaepernick. It would dominate the national conversation in a way probably nothing ever has. It would be like the last election, Deflategate and Janet Jackson’s nipple all collided in a three-car pile up of politics, sports and the culture war.

And the weird thing is, I don’t that would be a deal killer. Not nearly as much as Kaepernick being a bad football fit. If there’s one place he could come in, assimilate and not have to answer a billion questions about his views, this is it. As a matter of fact, he wouldn’t be allowed to. When Tim Tebow brought his circus to the Jets, they gave him a daily press availability. In New England, he was never heard from, so the regular-news media horde got bored within a day and disappeared, never to return. Signing Kaepernick would be tons of blowback, plus tons of praise for being so woke, and it would be divisive as hell outside the stadium walls. But the operative word there is “outside.” If Kaepernick wanted to go somewhere and just focus on being a competitive athlete, this would be his best shot.

Again, it’s not going to happen. Not in this life time or any other. Geragos is just talking out his ass in a desperate plea to drum up interest in his client where none exists. But damn, it would be wild if it did.