If Chad Johnson Wants To Be An Eagle, Then Chad Johnson Should Be An Eagle. And Here's Why

Jacksonville Jaguars v New England Patriots

In an unfortunate yet not at all surprising twist, it looks like Josh Gordon is going to end up in New England. Whatever. That’s beside the point. I didn’t want him anyway. But the fact still remains that the Eagles are very much in need of some help at the wide receiver position at the moment. Alshon is still at least a couple weeks away. Mike Wallace is done for at least a few weeks. I don’t even know who Josh Perkins is. So if the Eagles aren’t going to land Josh Gordon, well then who can they bring in to give Agholor some help out there?

Now they could always just solve this problem internally. You have Carson Wentz being cleared for contact and starting on Sunday. That doesn’t mean that Nick Foles is stashed away on the sideline, that just means he can get out there as a receiver now. Many people often forget that Nick Foles caught a touchdown pass in Super Bowl LII. Don’t believe me? Google that shit.

But if Nick Foles isn’t the guy? I think the Eagles should actually give Chad Johnson a shot here. ESPECIALLY if he’s willing to play without a contract. But there has to be one stipulation here. He can’t go back to being Chad Ochocinco. He has to have “Johnson” on the back of his jersey. As long as that’s the case, then he’s our guy. Because here’s the thing–if there’s one thing that last year’s Eagles team taught us, it’s that you don’t have to have the best players to win. You just need to have the best team. It’s about togetherness. It’s about the brotherhood. You need to buy into that team aspect and as long as you have 53 dudes who are willing to do that, then you can go out there and beat anybody.

So what does Chad Ochocinco going by Chad Johnson have to do with togetherness and buying into the team? Well the Philadelphia Eagles are king of the dick jokes. You’ve got “Long Cox”. You’ve got Smallwood. You’ve got the nicknames like Big Dick Nick. As long as he continues to go by his birth name instead of going back to Ochocinco, then Chad Johnson will fit perfectly into this unit. So he has a last name that works itself into some penis puns. Even though he’s 40 years old, he’s still better than half the receivers the Eagles were trotting out there last year. And he says he only needs access to WiFi. That to me sounds like the lowest of risks for potentially the highest of rewards. Do the damn thing, Howie.

@BarstoolJordie