MMBM: Bo Callahan 2.0? None Of Patrick Mahomes' Teammates Have Tweeted "Happy Birthday" To Him. Is It Too Soon To Call Him A Bust?
Is Pat Mahomes bad for football? Sure its great to see a player throw for 10 TDs in two weeks I guess but they only actualy only won by 7 points verse the Steelers. I want him to rather have a big heart then a big arm and the sad cold realty is that we’ll never know how good he really is if he blows every team out. Its easy to win games when you’ve built up a 30 point lead but its actually way harder to win if your not good enough to beat the brakes off someone to begin with. Andy Reid is coddling him right now by playing to his strengths wereas a real coach like a Jon Fox makes the QB play to their strenghts. Give man a Fish he’ll eat for a day- teach a man to Fisher and he’ll stick around the NFL and win slightly less then 50% of his games for 17 years.
Also its fascinating to me to point out that its Mr. Mahomeses 23rd birthday today and none of his teamates have wished him a happy birthday- kind of a Bo Callahan situation all over again. Well I think I know why- hes alienated half of his team- the defense.
One interesting stat I found is that the Chiefs are in first place in offense and special teams but last place in defense. Its because there out of shape. Alex Smith was perhaps the best defense of QB of all time. People forget the 12th man is the clock and the more of it you can take out of Andy Reids hands the better off your going to be in the long run. Patrick Mahomes plays QB like its drone warfare- a quick strike then you go back to the sideliens and talk to your buddies about video games or whatever. But over the course of a Fortnight, Mahomes has thrown 10 TD passes including strikes to 4 different Wide Receivers. I dont think Alex Smith threw TD passes to 4 different Wide Recevers in his entire career. Its called saving some of your weapons for the second round of the playoffs should you ever make it that far. Also- hes taking away valuable reps from there Punter- we have no idea of knowing whether he or she is even good or not because they dont even have to show up for work with a offense this good.
Plus hes got some good weapons. I call Tyreek Hill the Frat House because brothers allways leave him open when they think its time to rush. His nickname is the Cheetah either in a nod to the Patriot Way, or perhaps to the fastest land animal not counting his coach when he smells a Arbys. Maybe the best thing Tyreek Hill has done for the Chiefs is limited Travis Kelces touches making it sabermetricaly less opportunities for him to get a 17 yd catch with a 15 yd penatly for screaming Eminem lyrics into his opponets buttholes and stalling out drives.
I guess all I’m saying is that Patrick Mahomes is doing for the NFL what Steph Curry did to basketball- turn it into a game of trying to outscore your opponet rather then trying to outwork them. Kids across America are going to be trying to throw touchdowns to get back to the sidelines and chit chat about which girl from homeroom they want to play tonsil hockey with instead of engineering a methodical drive down the field and letting your defense get rested. In my opinion Andy should force him to play defense as well untill he gets the message for how exhausted he’s making his teammates. Until then hes nothing more then Patrick Mahomes II instead of Patrick Mahomes WeWe.
Road Grader Of The Week: Philip Rivers
Philip Rivers is the Johnny Appleseed of his own DNA. Just spraying it around out there using all sorts of unorthdox release points to get that perfect launch angle. Leading and Breeding- thats what Philip Rivers does.
10 Things I Know I Know
1. The propsect of not getting to practice against Nathan Peterman everyday anymore was just too much for Bills CB Vontae Davis to handle as he decided to retire at halftime. Say what you want about him but that drive away from the stadium must of been a high unlike any other he will ever experence in his life. Sure he probably upset some of his teamates but alot of times when a parent leaves all the children bond together unexeptedly. Anyone whose watched a episode of Shameless or seen Mrs Doubtfire know that abandoment can actually bring about postive change. So when Vontae Davis went to the store for cigarettes and milk at halftime it might end up being the best thing thats happened to the Bills defense.
Now if he had done this during saulte to service month the NFL would of been within there rights to treat him like a deserter and track him down and court marshall him. Theres no room in this league for Dwayne Bowe Bergdahls during the month of November.
2. Saying someones out “indefnitely” dosen’t make any sense at all. They should be out “defnitely” instead. This isnt like flammable verse inflammable which both mean the same thing there are real consequences at stake here if someone misinterprets. If someones In, defnitely it implies something totally different. Just a pet peeve of mine I guess.
3. New England Patriots are playing every body like a fiddle. I dont want to say they intentonally lost that game to the Jaguars but I cant think of another possble explanation for it besides maybe there having signifcant issues at receiver and in there secondary along with a O-line that has struggled to protect a aging less-mobile Tom Brady from elite pass rushes- but I think the more likley possbility is that they threw the game on purpose.
Number one its tougher to monkey with the PSI of a football when its 100 degrees on the field as any number of journlists will tell you. The ideal gas law only really comes into play once the temperature dips below 10 degrees- aka the total number of educatonal certificates on Laurent Duvarney-Tardif’s wall.
And if you think Jacksonsville fans were the only ones getting a little exited about this win wait til you see what Shad Khan was up to
Everyones JagginOff in Duval right now and Id just like to say for the record that I’ve been on board the Jaggin Wagon for years
5. Last week we saw Pat Fitzgerald of Northwestern say that the RPO was communism but this week Adam Gase confimred it by stripping away the rights of his players to vote on there captains and installing them himself as a dictatorship. Its poor form for the NFL franchise thats so close to Cuba to be assocated with communism but Fidel Castro literaly translates to “Neutered but Loyal,” so maybe its Jason Garret and the Dallas Cowboys who are more closely alinged with militant leftist poltics.
6. I’m sure your all aware of the critically acclamed dramady “The Death Of Stalin” centered around the power vaccuum left in mid-20ths century Russia after Joseph Stalins death. Nikita Kruschev, Molitov, and Malenkov fighting for control of the country and all her Nazi graves, prisons, and bread lines. Now that half of you have stopped reading this pargraph I’m here to tell you that it’s basicaly a prequel for what we’re about to see in Cleveland once Hue Jackson gets fired.
The intresting part of putting two brain geniuses like Todd Haley and Gregg Williams in a power struggle is that neither one knows how to do anything suddly so they’ll both end up destroyng themselves along with the other guy which in football guy terms is a win. Its ok if you hurt yourself as long as your better at pretending that your not upset that your hurt than the other guy. This will leave neither one of them as the air apparent and instead Bob Wiley will finish the remaineder of the regular season as interim head coach
We spoke with Mike Florio last nite on Pardon My Take and he pretty much said that John Dorsey has his guy in mind allready- a guy who was on board with drafting Baker Mayfield. I’m putting two and two together here and if only there was a massively sucessful coach who had a close relationship with Baker Mayfield who hypotheticaly might be from eastern ohio, who might currentley be out of a job- oh wait there is
Bob Stoops will be the coach of the 2019 Cleveland Browns you heard it here first from me dont you dare forget that
7. Its constution day today where we celebrate the original CBA between the owners (Goverment) and the players (citizens.) Among other things outlined in this was media availabilty requirements outlined in the first amendment.
8. Welcome to THE Ohio State University were every win is a “statement” win
This is a masterclass in PR right here. If you screw up a apology enough times then people start to get mad at how bad your apolgies are instead of the thing your apologizing for. Like when Newt Gingrich got caught cheating on his wife and his explanaton was “well it was only because she had breast cancer.” Totaly changes the narrative.
9. Everyones talking about how a tie is like kissing your sister but Aaron Rogers woudnt even return his sisters calls much less make out with her.
10. The Tennesee Titans socal media team with a outstanding combo of headline and hashtag here.
The Panthers will tell you that if its your first time and you titan up you just gotta #KeepPounding
11. Patrick Mahomes destroyed the Steelers franchise in one afternoon.
Mahomes and the Chiefs are lockeroom wreckers. Basicaly what Antonio Brown means here is “I just saw Patrick Mahomes throw for infinity yards and look cool and not like a lathargic old mangy dog like my quarterback so if I was on the Chiefs I bet I’d be good.”
Heres my offical diagnosis behind whats wrong with the Steelers lockeroom: Antonio Brown is weird. Ben Rothlisberger is weird. LeVeon Bell is weird. There just a strange group of dudes run by a loudmouth whose also kind of weird. I also cant help but notice Antonio never even earned the decal for the left side of his helmet even after all these sucessfull years in Pittsburgh- thats a major red flag.
12. Carson Wentz is back. The Eagles just anounced that the former Superbowl attending QB has been medically cleared to play and will start verse the Colts on Sunday. Folks you dont change horses in midstream so Im not sure why there abandoning Foles like this.