Jason Kidd's Near Death Experience In 2004 Just Proves To Stay The Hell Away From The Ocean

So Marc Stein e-mailed out his newsletter yesterday, which talked about this tidbit about Jason Kidd and his agent. Back in 2004 they were out in Cabo San Lucas and floating in the ocean when Kidd swam to retrieve a noodle he was floating on. Only then did he get attacked by a Portuguese Man O’ War fish, which I suggest don’t googling because they are weird.

Kidd described it as ‘I thought I was having a heart attack. Every time I tried to move it electrocuted me.’  So, being an agent, Jeff Schwartz acted the only way he knew how to. He had to save his client. I mean, sure, it’s being a human and seeing another human in trouble so you react, but it also helps when it’s your big time client.

Schwartz went out and essentially put Kidd in a headlock to drag him away from the fish, which is a jellyfish-like animal that uses its long tentacles and venom to sting and kill larger prey. As if that wasn’t enough to traumatize Kidd, Schwartz quietly told Kidd that he could have died if he didn’t help him.

All this proves is that I’ll continue to stay away from water like that. I’m completely out on the ocean. Put my ass in the pool, maybe a lake, but I’m out on the ocean. There’s far too much random shit like this out there. I don’t want to deal with animals that aren’t dogs to begin with.