Benders In The Wild: Why Breaking Out A Quick Game Of Puck At Work Isn't Always The Best Idea
Benders. They’re everywhere. Heck, you may even be standing next to one right now except you’d never know it. Because for the most part, the only time you’re ever able to actually identify somebody as a bender or not is when they’re on the ice. Some guys may be able to look the look off the ice, but can they sauce the sauce on it? It hard to say. Honestly if you actually sit down and think about the numbers, they are terrifying. According to a recent study, 1 in every 3 hockey players is completely ass. We’re talking can’t even lift the puck off the ice ass. And chances are you’ve been surrounded by these people your entire life but because you haven’t seen them on the ice before, you’d never know.
Now if you read that first paragraph and you’re getting a little nervous because you’ve been hiding the fact that you’re a bender from everybody, well then chances are you’re like this guy in that video. In which case you should never, under any circumstances, attempt to do anything hockey related outside of your 10:30pm weekly beer league game. Because the moment you get spotted as a Bender In The Wild, your life is changed forever. All those friends you used to have? All of a sudden they start to go away. Girls? Forget about it. Chicks dig dudes who put the puck in the back of the net, not grocery sticks who can’t even stay on their feet while wearing shoes. So if you’re a bender and you know it, maybe don’t hop in the lunch break hockey game in the warehouse. Just keep the fact that you’re a pigeon to your beer league team and don’t let the general public catch wind of it. Your life will be better off that way.
