Goalie Fights Are An Integral Part Of Our Nation's Past Time And They Must Be Preserved At All Cost

There is nothing, and I mean NOTHING, that gets the juices going quite like a tendy who is ready to drop the mitts and start throwing hands. You look back on some of the most monumental moments in US history and you can seemingly trace all of them back to a goalie fight. The Declaration of Independence? Winning World War II? Killing Osama Bin Laden? Every time a goalie fights, something incredible happens. However, it is an unfortunate reality that there are a ton of people out there who are trying to rid the world of tendy fights forever. These people are either idiots or they’re evil or they’re a combination of both.

So it is us to us to fight back and lead the resistance. Goalie fights have always and will always hold a special place in not only hockey history, but world history as well. Without goalie fights, who are we? What are we? We’re nothing. But thankfully the war is far from over. Thankfully there are goalies like this one right here out there who are willing to beat the ever living shit out of their opponents because that’s what the boys need. The ultimate ferda move. And sometimes you even need to fight your own boys just to make sure the squad starts to figure out their shit, like this Blue Jackets prospect did earlier today at practice for HC Lugano in the Swiss league.

And in the end? Hug it out, bitch. That’s the beauty of a goalie fight. It always brings everybody together at the end. This is why I will be forever grateful to any and every goalie who ever chucks the knucks. And I’d kiss each and every one of ya right on the lips.

@BarstoolJordie