We Breastfeeding Our Babies In 2018, Fellas? I Wont Be Wearing Nikes While I Do

I have to admit, having this title right out in the open while I’m on a plane is one of the bravest things I’ve ever done. Look how big this title is on WordPress.

It’s outrageous.

People from row 4 to row 22 can read that title. I feel very uncomfortable but probably not as uncomfortable as my friend here who is getting his nipples sucked on. I’m well on the record as saying that I have sensitive nipples beyond belief. I often dont wear a shirt around the house because my nipples are just so damn tender! But, as a father, I know that comforting your baby is very important. In fact, some would say that comforting your baby is the essence of nurturing. But, should we nurture with our nip nips? That’s not for me to decide but I find it kinda weird if I am deciding. Is it toxic masculinity that I dont wanna breastfeed my baby? I guess I’ll never know because I’ve had a very successful vasectomy.

Now, in the thread of this tweet, people are dropping what can only be described as science bombs.

Did you know that males can produce titty milk? Twitter user @___geezus___ seems to think so.

Is her statement alone enough to present this idea as fact? I learned in my journalism classes that you need two sources in order to write an article. Luckily for me, that second source was in the same twitter thread!

Hmmm…

HMMMMMM….

For research, over the next 11 days, I will begin stimulating my nipples for 30 minutes every hour during my waking hours. That means I should have 6-7 full hours of full and experienced nipple stimulation. If I cannot cream your coffee by day 11, I will consider this scientific debunked.

The clock starts now.

(you cant see me because the blog is over but I’m stimulating my nipples something fierce. Incredible)

PS: I added the Nikes line to the title to show that I’m taking Dave’s blogging school seriously. This blog had nothing to do with Nike.