A Plane Carrying 100 (Or Maybe 10) Sick People Coughing With 100+ Degree Temperatures On A Flight From Dubai Just Landed At JFK

The official statement from Emirates Airlines:

The unofficial statement from Emirates Airlines:

Congratulations to everyone that had “Epidemic” in their How Does The World End In 2018 pool. For a while there, nuclear war appeared to be a bigger lock than the Patriots winning the AFC East. But it looks like we are going back to medieval times with a black plague taking down mankind after a bunch of people that shared the same air as people already sick as shit were somehow unleashed into an entire city jammed dick-to-ass with people, garbage, and rats where the easiest way to get around is mass transit. I would give this reporter a hard time for downgrading his report from 100 sick people to 10. But as anybody who has ever been traveled a plane knows, once one person was sick, all 500 passengers on that 14 hour flight with shared air might as well have been sucking the saliva out of Patient Zero’s throat. Not quarranting the entire plane or shipping that bitch back to Dubai is going to be what cuncels humans.

Humanity has had a pretty decent run I guess. Inventing the internet, football, and Doritos were probably our three best achievements. As with most things in life, we shouldn’t cry because human civilization is over, we should smile because it happened. And watching Barstool HQ slowly turn into the movie Outbreak and seeing which bloggers go down first should be riveting content over the next week or so.