Senator Marco Rubio Tells Alex Jones "I'll Take Care Of You Myself If You Touch Me Again"

OH MY GODDDDD. Inject this into my veins. Alex Jones is such a fucking crazy person. How in the sweet, sweet hell does he have press passes in the halls of the United States Senate? I mean, I tried to get press passes to the Pickle Fest in Wisconson and was denied. You know how much it stings that Alex Jones is walking around calling Senators “frat boy little thugs.”

Rubio was clearly lying though. There’s no chance in hell he doesn’t know how Alex Jones is. That’s as laughable as when Roger Goodell said he didnt know who Barstool was. Of course, he does. Otherwise, Rubio wouldnt have gotten triggered so fast. Credit (I guess but not really) to Rubio for going back on his normal political talking points while Jones is sitting in his grill and saying “Democrats are raping the Republicans. Democrats are raping Info Wars.”

Rubio called him a clown as he walked away but nut-up, pal. You were so, so close.

Last note: if Rubio is invited to sick ass bath houses and I’m not, I’m gonna be pissed. I love baths and would love nothing more than hanging out with my pals at a nice western themed joint. I mean, doesnt this look like a blast?