Joel Embiid Learned How To Shoot By YouTubing "WHITE PEOPLE SHOOTING 3 POINTERS"
Story Time w/ Joel Embiid - EXTRA GRENADINE. What a fantastic surprise and concept dropped down on us from the heavens. A lot of people would listen and watch Joel Embiid do anything. No, really – ANYTHING. Think about it. There are people, myself included, who would watch him do mundane activities, and even watch him watch people do mundane activities. Imagine Joel Embiid attempting doing a load of wash, then reacting to and commenting on other people doing laundry? That’s GOLD, Jerry. GOLD. His mannerisms, sense of humor, and voice straight out of Sesame Street makes anything entertaining.
Now, for the first time I believe, Joel takes his talents to the written word…and it’s a MUST READ. It’s not only enjoyable for the humor, but it really is a fascinating tale of a man coming into his own. Just breeze through the start and I guarantee you’ll be reading the entire thing:
I swear to God, my life is a movie.
It’s a movie.
I know corny dudes are always saying that because they bought like an SUV or whatever, but I swear I can say it for real. I’ll prove it to you like this….
This is a real story. Hand to God. When I came over from Cameroon at 16, I didn’t know any English, didn’t know a single person in America, didn’t really understand the culture except for like basic hip-hop. And I know people sort of know my story, but I don’t think they really understand how crazy it is. Because I had just started playing basketball literally — literally — three months before I got an offer to come play high school ball in Florida.
…
First off, I’m don’t know what corny dudes Joel Embiid is hanging out with who thinks their life is like a movie because they bought like an SUV or whatever, and quite frankly, I don’t want to know (def TJ McConnell and I love it). But it really is amazing how far Embiid has come in such a short amount of time. The dude is only 24-years-old. In just 8 years he went from getting blessed from the rains down in Africa with zero basketball ability to one of the best players in the world. How does that happen? Talent, determination, and a little thing called YouTube…
So I’m chilling one night, and I go on YouTube, and I’m thinking I’m about to figure this shooting thing out.
I go to the search box like….
HOW TO SHOOT 3 POINTERS.
Nah.
HOW TO SHOOT GOOD FORM
Nah.
Then the light bulb went off, man. I typed in the magic words.
WHITE PEOPLE SHOOTING 3 POINTERS.
What a light bulb. And JoJo ain’t exactly wrong. His description of your average white dudes shooting in the gym is beyond accurate:
Listen, I know it’s a stereotype, but have you ever seen a normal, 30-year-old white guy shoot a three-pointer? That elbow is tucked, man. The knees are bent. The follow-through is perfect. Always. You know how in America, there’s always an older guy wearing like EVERLAST sweat-shorts at the court? That guy is always a problem. His J is always wet.
Never change, JoJo. Never change. Well, except for going 0-8 on game-tying or go-ahead shots in the final minute of last season, including going 0-2 in Game 5 vs the Celtics. Definitely change that. But keep being you, our large, African man, and do me a favor and CUIE IT THE FUCK UP!