Insider Trading Seems Awesome (Unless You Get Caught)

I’m not going to sit here and condone breaking the law. That would be frowned upon. No way will I say do anything that can land you in jail no matter how fun drinking and driving is.

However.

Insider trading sounds awesome. There’s just no denying it. Turning $80k into $1.2 million in under 5 months is pure insanity. I did a little math andddddddd

You can’t get that ROI unless you win the lottery.

And all Kendricks had to do was read some emails from a pal who went to Harvard? I know TWO guys who went to Harvard, where the fuck is my insider trading?? Bozo better start sending me some stock tips to my inbox every morning.

I’m interested to see how the NFL handles this. All he really did was get himself rich, so he’ll probably get 8 games, it’s not like he hit a woman.