Tuesday Buzzkill: Eye-Attacking STD Is On The Rise

Earlier this week Chaps blogged about a new STD that’s rotting people’s junk off. Man, that stinks. Glad there’s nothing else brewin’ on that front.

Ah, crap. Well for the quick syphilis recap you never wanted – 523 years ago Charles VIII brought his French army to invade Naples & something nearly as awful as war broke out:

The disease started with genital ulcers, then progressed to a fever, general rash and joint and muscle pains, then weeks or months later were followed by large, painful and foul-smelling abscesses and sores, or pocks, all over the body. Muscles and bones became painful, especially at night. The sores became ulcers that could eat into bones and destroy the nose, lips and eyes. They often extended into the mouth and throat, and sometimes early death occurred. It appears from descriptions by scholars and from woodcut drawings at the time that the disease was much more severe than the syphilis of today, with a higher and more rapid mortality and was more easily spread , possibly because it was a new disease and the population had no immunity against it.

From there it made its way around the globe, but penicillin was a game changer and by the early 2000s it was nearly eradicated in the US. Phew, glad that’s over with.

Ah-yiiiikes. Now scientists are saying Syphilis is making a comeback & an ocular strain could lead to blindness. It has nothing to do with taking a straight shot to the eye; it’s bacterial & spreads through the body. Someone infected would notice redness, blurry vision and in the worst cases, partial or total vision loss. Basically, if you’re noticing anything weird with your eyes, ABSOLUTELY START FREAKING OUT IMMEDIATELY. Luckily it’s treatable & all symptoms can be knocked out if taken care of soon enough.

From Newsweek:

Syphilis rates in many nations have been on the rise in recent years. Occurrences in the United States, for example, have more than doubled from 2.1 cases per 100,000 people in 2000 to 5.3 cases per 100,000 in 2013, according to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC).

On the bright side it appears we’re getting laid more. On the dark side..