WARNING: DO NOT PITCH TO DAVID BOTE

Rumor has it Bote’s nickname is BOAT because he’s the best of all time don’t @ me I’m reporting facts like a real journalist. How else do you explain MULTIPLE game winning/tying homeruns in the last month? Thing is you can’t explain it other than saying he’s the Best Ever of All Time. Which, if you *really* think about it, is just about the most ridiculous story line any rational Cubs’ fan could anticipate. Kris Bryant getting Wally Pipped in your face as the Cubs continue to pace the National League. What a fucking time to be alive.

PS – David Bote may be the best player of all time, but Daniel Murphy will ALWAYS be my favorite: