Jay Cutler Read A GQ Article On Oral Sex and Now Kristin Cavallari Says He's The King Of Going Downtown

“The sex is the best it’s ever been,” Kristin tells her L.A. friend over delivery sushi. “He apparently read some article on GQ about how to go down on a girl … It’s been a game changer.” She then adds, “Yeah, like every time,” without being prompted in any manner, just so we all know the frequency with which Jay Cutler performs oral sex.

The sex is also, just like, the best it’s been, too,” Kristin continues. “Like all around. Like, I don’t know what happened to him but it’s great. Almost eight years later, mmhm.”  [The Big Lead]

The easy joke here is that if Jay Cutler put this much time, research and preparation into his NFL job maybe he would have more than one playoff appearance in 8 years.  I’m not gonna say that.  Nobody that comes on KFC Radio will get any insults from me.  That’s the Friends of the Program benefit package.  Real journalism places have a thing called integrity.  Luckily Barstool is not one of those.  So we’re gonna take this for exactly what it is – just a feel good story about two people in love, a thriving marriage, a lesson to all the young lovers out there about how you can keep the passion and romance going in your relationship to your mid thirties and beyond.  Relationships are about work.  Relationships are about improving yourself every day.  Being patient, compromising, making sacrifices.  And, most importantly, picking up the latest issue of GQ from the rack next to the grocery store checkout and reading up on how to tickle the G spot while doing the alphabet with your tongue.  It’s all about keeping the spark alive.  The passion.  And if a bunch of nerdy white guys in tucked in gingham button downs and Warby Parkers can teach you the tricks of the trade, even better:

You take this guy, this index finger, slide it in there, curve it up a little bit, tap the roof – that’s your G spot.  Next move, take the middle finger, the bad boy, pop that in as well,  and you’re gonna have that one tappin the roof, and then this one, the middle finger, is going to be sort of circling this fleshy gap area, the cervix.  Mind the gap, tap the roof.