Joakim Noah Has Apparently Reached The "Willingly Gets Undressed While In Public" Level Of Life
TMZ- Here’s Joakim Noah proving he’s got nothing to hide when it comes to getting naked — stripping off his pants in the middle of the street in Santa Monica … and yeah, dude’s in great shape. The New York Knicks player was leaving a vintage French boutique in Santa Monica on Monday — when he decided it was time for a wardrobe change. Off came the shorts … out came his bare ass — and Noah couldn’t help but smile as people walked by him in the middle of the day.
I don’t know if KFC’s Mailtime Hall of Fame still has its lights on, but if it does, some poor soul should definitely start working on Joakim Noah’s bust right this minute. Most NBA players work their whole life to get to the point where they can be paid to play basketball. But the real dreamers are the ones that make it so they are paid to not play basketball. That’s a true Big Baller move. When Phil Jackson signed Joakim to that utterly preposterous deal, us Knicks fans were hoping we would get a hustling, rebounding, if not hilariously overpaid big man. Instead Phil unknowingly signed The Finesse Prince to go alongside The Finesse King that is Carmelo Anthony for a roughly combined $200 million. I’m not even mad. I’m impressed. Mostly because I always choose to #StayMe7o. Joakim stopped caring about his job like Peter from Office Space, got sent home from the Knicks by Jeff Hornacek, and according to Woj, likely will not be invited back to the Knicks any time soon despite David Fizdale taking over as the new coach.
The New York Knicks remain unlikely to reincorporate exiled center Joakim Noah into the team under new coach David Fizdale and still plan to part ways with the veteran big man before training camp, league sources told ESPN. Unless general manager Scott Perry can find a trade that includes Noah, the Knicks will use the NBA’s waive-and-stretch provision to release Noah sometime after Sept. 1, league sources said.
Noah, 33, has two years and $37.8 million left on his contract, and waiting until September to stretch it allows the Knicks to spread the balance of his remaining contract into smaller cap hits over the next three years. After the hiring of Fizdale in June, Knicks management didn’t rule out the possibility of Noah rejoining the organization for the 2018-19 season, but that scenario has gained no traction, league sources said.
Talks continued through the summer, but New York hasn’t come close to finding a deal to unload Noah, league sources said. Using the stretch provision after Aug. 31 reduces Noah’s cap hit to $6.4 million, saving the team $12.9 million toward the salary cap. Stretching his contract after Sept. 1 costs the Knicks $6.4 million in cap space in the summers of 2020 and 2021.
The $18.5 million salary for 2018-19 still counts toward the Knicks’ salary cap, although that number could be reduced if a buyout is agreed upon with Noah, or if New York doesn’t waive the set-off in his contract.
Absolutely remarkable. However, what makes Noah special is that not only did he ski mask the Knicks out of millions, but he has now apparently stopped adhering to social norms like going into a private room to get dressed. Not caring what other people think about you while also being filthy rich is when life really gets cooking. By getting changed in public, Joakim Noah has pretty much reached the Lenny Kravitz wearing that gigantic scarf status of not giving a fuck.
Since I am a poor person, I don’t even know what is next for someone that doesn’t care to the level Joakim does. Can you start pissing in the street? Eating off random peoples plates at restaurants? Killing humans for sport? I honestly don’t know the answer. But I won’t hate the player for Joakim’s contract. I will hate the game. And Phil Jackson. Fuck him. Now we just wait and see if Scott Perry can win a staring match with Tom Thibodeau and get ANYTHING for Noah as they build the Minnesota Timberbulls.
P.S. I know there were extenuating circumstances that caused some of these contract numbers, but this tweet is still jaw-dropping.