I HATE NY

For those of you getting ready to head into the city this morning during a Heat Advisory where real feels will be over 100 degrees, the subject for today’s I HATE NY is something that is especially salient, but utterly non-photographable.

It’s the overwhelming smell of hot urine that hangs over this city like a yellow haze whenever the mercury climbs past 90 degrees.

Everyone knows the phenomenon… You park your car in a garage that smells like piss, you walk down a street that smells like piss on the way to your office. At lunch, you take a subway that smells like piss uptown to meet friends. On your way out of the subway, you’re accosted by a junkie that smells like piss. You eventually make it back to your car after quitting time, and rush home… Not so much to see your family… But just to get some fucking fresh air.

Or maybe you don’t even recognize it anymore… I live near train tracks, and as a result I have become selectively deaf to the sound of trains passing by. But our collective de-sensitivity to it doesn’t change the fact that we are all breathing in piss clouds that’ll probably collect into urine-haze-filled lung tumors.

Other countries have had to tackle this public health crisis, and have subsequently installed public open-air urinals like the one you see here from Australia.

Granted, Australians are fucking weird, but we gotta do something.  Otherwise, I might start rocking a surgical mask like those goddamned Asian tourists running around the city in bikinis.

Stay cool, everyone.

Take a report.

-Large