Likely Story: Dude Who Was Caught Having Sex With a Miniature Horse Doesn't Remember Anything From The Night
A married man accused of raping a miniature horse claims he cannot remember because someone spiked his drink. Police arrested Tyler Schlosser, 29, after a mum and daughter filmed a naked man having sex with the animal. The utility worker, who is about to be a dad, tried to do a runner but was caught after a chase, said officers in Inola, Oklahoma. The two witnesses said they saw him “full nude standing in the field having sex with a pony”.
But he stopped molesting the animal and walked towards them as they filmed him near a road junction, they told cops. Shocked Rogers County Sheriff Scott Walton branded the case “sick.”
But Schlosser’s step-granddad James Hester said he had no memory of what happened and suspected he was drugged. Schlosser had bought a soda earlier and became ill after a few sips. “The only thing we can figure out is someone had drugged him,” Mr. Hester said. “I think somebody put something in a bottle of pop he had. “He got sick after he bought that pop and he just lost it.”
He told Newsweek: “Tyler’s not that kind of guy,
That’s got to be a tough one to come to grips with.. I mean I just endured a really shitting weekend in Boston getting face-fucked by the Red Sox, but at least when I woke up this morning I didn’t have to answer for having sex with a pony….well at least as of this moment. Our friend Tyler Schlosser claims he had a soda and it was spiked, which caused him to blackout and go fuck a miniature horse. That’s a tricky one to explain to your wife, who is about to give birth to your first child. I always like to ask this age-old question, but what situation would you rather.
1) Fuck the horse and nobody knows about it ever.
2) Don’t fuck the horse, but everyone on the planet forever believes you fucked a horse and cannot be convinced otherwise.
In my mind 100% you have to go with option 1. I can’t have everyone knowing I’m the guy that fucked a horse willingly. I can live with nightmares of the actual act, but at least no one knows. Public perception is everything these days, whether you admit it or not. Our pal Tyler unfortunately has the worst of both options currently. He indeed plowed out this pony and the world does in fact know about it. That’s not what you want. Even if he was drugged, where does your mind turn to saying, “Damn, that pony over there is giving me the ‘fuck me eyes’ this is my shot.” There has to be something wrong with you for your mind to think that’s the play. Either that or I just haven’t done any kind of drugs close to what Tyler was on. You have to think he never thought he’d be in this spot, but hey when someone spikes your soda then everything goes out the window. Hide your wife. Hide your children. Hide your ponies.