Texas Woman Beats Up Her Neighbor For Telling Her She Was Getting Too Wild On Ladies Night...Oh And She Bit Off Her Nose and Ate It.

HOUSTON, Texas (KTRK) – A Conroe woman was arrested and accused of biting off a large piece of an acquaintance’s nose and then swallowing it.

Jessica Collins, 41, is charged with assault-bodily injury.

You know what they say – don’t mess with Texas.  Ever since the Battle of Gonzales in 1835 (an event pretty much lost in mainstream history, look it up) those motherfuckers have NOT liked their territory messed with.  That goes for an entire state and individual pieces of property, like your neighbor’s house.  If you are asked to leave, a Texan will not respond well.  Take Jessica Collins as the prime example, whose neighbor “Tatiana” tried to kick her out of the house for going, in her opinion, way too hard on Ladies Night.

Tatiana says she went out to a bar on Wednesday night with her next-door neighbor and Collins, who was temporarily staying with the neighbor.

She said they returned to her home after the bar, and Collins demanded more alcohol and cigarettes.

According to Tatiana, when she told Collins to leave her property, she said the woman jumped on her and pulled her to the ground by her hair.

Collins then allegedly bit off a large piece of Tatiana’s nose and swallowed it.

Ate her damn nose off.  Swallowed it!  Consumed the nose!  Nothing more alpha than absorbing your enemy.  I watched Annihilation last night and there was that weird bright light blob thing that sucked in the DNA of the living things around it and transformed to become more powerful or something I don’t know I didn’t really understand it.  But that’s kind of like Jessica here.  Take away her booze and cigs – get eaten.

“I didn’t have time to react, to push her away,” said Tatiana. “I think I was trying to fight back, but I couldn’t. All I could remember was the taste of blood in my mouth.”

She says she passed out several times and didn’t realize her nose was injured until she was in the ambulance.

“I started calling my husband when I was in the ambulance,” Tatiana said. “I was screaming, like, ‘I don’t have a nose. I’m 28 years old and I don’t have a nose anymore.'”

Whenever she gets out of prison she is going to be a formidable force on Ladies Night.

Oh and if you’re asking my opinion, biting a nose off: dirty move.  Not acceptable fight maneuver.  Right below sucker punching.

Shout out Mason Verger.