Bringing Birthday Balloons to a Sports Bar During the World Cup Final Should Be Jail Worthy

My friend is at a sports bar in Boston right now watching the World Cup final with his buddies. They got there like an hour before the match started and then right before the game started these assholes sat down with birthday balloons. Let me just say this. If you are an adult, male or female, and bring birthday balloons to a bar you should get a beer poured on you. That’s just during any normal Saturday or Sunday. Nope, we’re talking about the World Cup Final today. Everyone is betting on this and pretending to care just to have an excuse to drink with the boys on a Sunday morning. You thought it’d be a good idea to celebrate your 26th birthday at a sports bar today? Jail. You should be thrown in jail.

If you’re my friend or anyone at the bar whose view is blocked by Gary’s meaningless birthday celebration then you are well in your right to request a steak knife from the waiter and then proceed to go up to that table and pop all the balloons.