PacMan Fever

Large7/15/2018 7:49 AM

It’s almost 4AM, and I cant sleep, so I am gonna blog about boxing. Not sure if anyone will care, but I might as well get some reps in. Plus I think some people get alerts on their phones whenever I post something new, so I want to wake them up.

Morning, fellas.

I just finished watching Manny Pacquiao fight Lucas Matthysse, and -UNNECESSARY SPOILER ALERT- Manny won by TKO in the 7th round of a fight that was one-sided since the weigh-in. Matthysse was knocked down a total of 3 times. The third and final fall came with only 20 seconds left in the 7th after an uppercut by Pac put him right on Queer Street. Lucas got back to one knee, spit his mouthpiece, and referee Kenny Bayless waved off the fight at 2:43 of the round. Surprisingly, it was Pacquiao’s first knockout since 2009, when he beat up Puerto Rican super-hero, Miguel Cotto.

The fight was broadcast on ESPN+, which meant I had to stream it. The quality of the picture was even worse than the pics I try posting on my blogs, and I couldn’t get the PAUSE symbol off my screen. As a result there were two parallel vertical white dashes in the middle of the ring the whole time. It looked like the fighters were dancing around a 9/11 memorial.

I have mixed emotions about the fight itself, but I am happy for Manny. I have always been a fan because it’s easy to respect a guy that has held a title in 8 different weight classes. You see clips of when he started originally fighting at 104 pounds, and he looked like a soccer player being rescued from a cave.

Now, at 146 pounds, he looks more like a guy who sells umbrellas outside of the Canal Street subway station.

Was weird not seeing Freddie Roach in his corner, but apparently it didn’t bother anyone else in the Pacquiao camp, so I am not going to complain.

My neighbors are from the Philippines, so I imagine every apartment dweller who lives underneath a Filipino family is probably banging on the ceiling right now telling them to “Keep it down!” Good luck with that… This is like a World Cup win for those goofy fucks. I just looked out my window and their house is lit up like a fucking Christmas tree.

I said “mixed emotions” above when writing about this win because the fight was just fucking weird. First off, it was fought in Malaysia, which is only a short flight from the Philippines where Pacquaio currently holds a position as a Senator. He was also a point guard for the Kia Picanto of the ASEAN Basketball League (he played 9 games in 3 seasons). He’s also an actor who has starred in 9 feature films overseas, the biggest probably being his role as “Cousin Manny” in 2005’s Brown Soup Thing (he is arguably the second most popular Filipino actor behind “superstar” Rob Schneider).

This little cocksucker has also cut 3 albums… Terrible fucking albums, no doubt, but still. As a result, the arena was 100% filled with fans of the boxer, politician, actor, hoops player and/or singer.

Matthysse, on the other hand, is from Argentina, which is literally half way around the world from Kuala Lumpur. He had exactly 3 fans in attendance, and all three looked equally exhausted.

It started just after 11PM here, which is 11AM in Malaysia. So as the camera panned through the arena during the undercard, every now and again you could get a glimpse through an open exit door, and you would see people outside drinking coffee and mowing their lawns.

There was also a camera in Manny’s dressing room for the pre-fight locker room meeting with the referee. After Bayless finished with his ref talk, one member of Team Pacquiao bummed a pen off him, so Manny could sign someone’s guitar… The whole thing was just fucking bizarre.

#PacquiaoVsMatthysseOnGMA: Manny Pacquiao signing a guitar – YouTube

I have seen Matthysse fight on a handful of occasions, and I remember him being a lot tougher. The pre-fight hype was all about Pacquaio’s age, but Matthysse was the one who looked especially old and tired. The second knockdown happened when Matthysse seemingly just took a knee after eating 2 jabs to the temple… Almost like he was calling a time out. Maybe it was because he was fighting so close to breakfast.

So like I said before, I am happy for Manny, but before I am gonna join hands with my Filipino neighbors (who I think are now barbecuing a fucking pig), we should keep this win in perspective. Manny’s a 39 year old legend that beat a guy (Matthysse) who is about to turn 36, and was holding a Welterweight title belt left dormant while full champion Keith Thurman continues to sit idle with injuries. And he did it in Malaysia before noon.

God forbid, but if boxing somehow takes this victory and parlays it into Pacquiao vs Lomachenko, or Pac vs Crawford, Manny will have to take either fight. I didn’t mention this earlier, but this Renaissance Man who acts, sings, governs and fights also owes a ton of dough to the IRS (Pacquaio owed $68 million as of 2017).

They said Pac looked fast tonight, but here’s a little Lomachenko, for those not familiar…

If Pacquiao lost tonight, there was a chance we could’ve seen him fighting Za in the next Rough N Rowdy. Instead, this new new belt makes Manny a hot PPV commodity again versus the right young superstar, who will gladly tear apart a 40 year old man… Only this time at a decent hour, not streaming on ESPN+, and in a country that has running water.

And there is a good chance we will see a Filipino Senator die in the ring.

Congrats on the win, PacMan, and take a report.