The CDC Regarding The 'Honey Smacks' Salmonella Outbreak: DO NOT EAT THIS CEREAL

CDC- Recall On June 14, 2018, the Kellogg Company recalled Kellogg’s Honey Smacks cereal. Advice to Consumers Do not eat recalled Kellogg’s Honey Smacks cereal in any size packaging. Check your home for the recalled cereal and throw it away, or return it to the place of purchase for a refund. Even if some of the cereal was eaten and no one got sick, throw the rest of it away or return it for a refund. If you store cereal that looks like Kellogg’s Honey Smacks in another container without the packaging and don’t remember the brand or type, throw it away. Kellogg’s Honey Smacks is a sweetened puffed wheat cereal. Thoroughly wash the container with warm, soapy water before using it again, to remove harmful germs that could contaminate other food. Most people infected with Salmonella develop the following signs and symptoms 12-72 hours after being exposed to the bacteria: Diarrhea Fever Abdominal cramps

Hey you know what’s not gonna get me to stop eating Honey Smacks? Reminding me that Honey Smacks exist. Nice try, CDC. I had completely forgotten about Honey Smacks. Honey Smacks are goddamn delicious. I don’t care if they’re gonna give me explosive diarrhea. Everybody needs a good cleanse every once in awhile anyway. What better way than to eat 7 bowls of delicious Honey Smacks then spending the entire weekend on the toilet? Cleanses are in. I’m picking up a box after work and taking my chances. It says there have been 100 salmonella infections in 33 states. That’s a lot of states and I couldn’t care less. Honey Smacks are little bites of sugary breakfast (or any time of day, I’m an adult and can do whatever I want all the time and so can you) heaven. Don’t remind me that Honey Smacks exist then tell me not to eat Honey Smacks. That’s not how this works.

Remember a simpler time when all that mattered was what kind of cereal you were gonna eat in the morning? Those were the best of times. Running to the pantry and whipping that thing open and picking out a box? Nothing better. Then sometimes mom would’ve gone to the store and it was fully stocked and we’re all still chasing that high. Cereal makes me so happy. Cereal can solve every problem you have.