Shark Week Is Getting Gronk'd This Year

Discovery Channel’s ‘Shark Week’ turns 30 this year. I didn’t really research this but I’m 95% sure that it’s the longest running event in TV history. Has to be. It’s wildly popular. I mean, who doesn’t love Shark Week? People LOVE sharks. Even “Sharknado” was a viral hit and it was awful.

Stoners and non-stoners alike ban together for a week in July and obsess together. Sure, it may be like people all of a sudden loving soccer during the World Cup, but sharks are IT for a week.

Sidenote: I was just told that people who actually study sharks think ‘Shark Week’ has somewhat “jumped the shark” in recent years and that it kinda stinks now. Whatever, I’m here for it.

This year, they’re out doing themselves. Shaq is hosting it. Who knows what this guy is going to say. He’s an electric factory. In the teaser that came out this week, he says he “thought he was hosting Shaq Week but that doesn’t exist.” Sold.

The only thing that would make it better was if Charles Barkley was there to bust his balls the entire time.

But wait… there’s more.

On 07.23 — three days before the Patriots’ training camp opens — you can watch Gronk on an episode appropriately named “Monster Tag.” He’ll be swimming around tagging endangered sharks with satellite systems so that experts can learn more about how to conserve them.

Of course, Gronk tagged a Tiger Shark, which I know (from my many years of watching Shark Week) is one of the only shark species that hunt humans. Gronk out here taking one for the team.

Lindsay Vonn and Aaron Rodgers will be on the same episode.

Hopefully this year they can make up for the absolute disaster of the fake ‘Michael Phelps vs. Great White’ race last year. What a fucking waste of time that was.