Post Malone And Justin Bieber Look Like Two Guys Who Have Done All The Drugs

I mean I guess that’s what Post Malone always looks like. Anybody who throws a bunch of tattoos on their face loses the possibility to look any more or less ridiculous than usual. It’s just who they are at that point. But what the hell happened to Justin Bieber? He looks like how a moldy leather car seat would smell. He looks patently ridiculous. Bieber looks like he’s preparing for a movie role but there’s no movie. A little Lieutenant Dan, a little Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas and a little True Detective. Instead he’s just out there living. Smoking all the joints and avoiding all the showers. I would like to say that I’m very here for a Post/Bieber buddy cop movie if that’s what happening but I don’t think it is. They’re just hanging out being moist together.

Although, Bieber is fucking Hailey Baldwin so he might just be on his, “You can’t tell me nothing” shit. I would be too. Think about it. How awesome would it be to be the grossest version of yourself and still pull the hottest chicks in the world? That’s the situation Justin Bieber finds himself in 24/7/365. He might actually be seeing how far he can take it. How much can he look like the uncle at a family reunion that your parents tell you to avoid before he stops having sex with the Hailey Baldwins and Selena Gomezs of the world? It’s not fair. The rest of us become the grossest version of ourselves and we die alone. Sad.