Floyd Mayweather Bought A Watch For $18 MILLION Because What The Hell Else Is He Gonna Do With A Billion Dollars?

And there it is. One of, if not the most flamboyant purchase of all time. At least it’s a watch and serves some functionality. Still no word on whether he needs someone to read the time for him. I can see Floyd go the route of those Enron asshats and buy $15,000 umbrella stands because FUCK humanity. But can you hear that? Yup…that’s the sound of self-righteousness coming in from the hills…

“But, ‘Money’, there are infants starving in Afghanepioa! Why can’t you do something good for humanity with your billion dollars?!?!?”

Because he’s Floyd fucking Mayweather, that’s why. What’s he gonna do, start a worldwide program that’ll finally end illiteracy? Floyd’s not even worried about HIS literacy*. Forget about the children. Floyd gonna Floyd.

And why not? It’s his money. Even though anybody who keeps (or has kept) their entire fortune in a single bank account has no justification for the value of a dollar. If anyone is going to have a complete Antoine Walker financial nuclear meltdown the likes of which the world should never see, it may eventually be Floyd. The guy already makes Brewster’s Millions look like child’s play. At least he still somehow can win $100K at the drop of a dick at video poker like nobody else in history. Unreal luck with that one.

*50 vs. Floyd in The Alphabet War is still one of the greatest beefs in recent history. Hilarious.