Good day, M'Lady.

Goodness, gracious. Apparently, this fella got stung on the eye by some type of insect. If I had to guess, the insect was a pussbee. Just floatin around in the wild looking to wreak havoc on any dude it sees. Imagine if you will.

You and your buddy Steven are out for a little cardio sesh around the shore. You love the beach this time of year. The wind is whipping and cooling down the summer sun. Your shirt is off (suns out guns out and whathaveyou) and your shorts are short (skies out thighs out and whatnot). You reach down to have a little sip of something. In your thermos, you’ve put in a morning melody of a slightly champagne-rich mimosa. As you enjoy a sip, you hit a bump in the road.

Mimosa spills on your face.

“I’ll lick that off, Eric!”

“Lol you would, Steve! Get a life, you fuckin loser! HAHA Just kiddin. Pedal hard!”

“Pedal hard,” Steve says back.

As you return your gaze to the path, a pussbee comes up and swells your eye makin you look like you got the fattest puss puss on the block protruding straight outta your orbital socket.

Steve, your best friend since grade school, guides you back to your summer share and puts some ointment on your eye. You trust him. That’s probably why you are so upset when you notice that he has a boner.