Friday Homestretch/AFTP

Large6/08/2018 5:05 PM

Homestretch is a tad early today, because there really are no rules here.

First off, on the Financial front, there is a ton more on the docket next week…

Mon, 6/11- Trump’s meeting with Lil’ Kim in Singapore begins at 9PM ET

Tues, 6/12- US CPI released, and Courts scheduled to decide whether AT&T-TWX deal can proceed

Wed, 6/13- FOMC policy decision

Thurs, 6/14- ECB policy decision

Fri, 6/15- BOJ policy decision, quadruple witch, and US will release final list of Chinese imports subject to 25% tariff

More importantly, my first week at Barstool is now in the can, and I am still employed. I assume traffic numbers have been good, so thanks for continued clicks. Been posting at a rapid pace because the stand alone Barstool Finance page they started for me was pretty bleak and empty. I will try to keep cranking shit out as much as I can, and I think I am gonna do a couple random radio shows this upcoming week because attendance in office will be thin with the US Open coverage and various content providers traveling.

I’ve picked up some Twitter followers even though I’ve only tweeted a handful of times… Will try to pick up the pace on that also.

You probably heard already, but pioneer of terrible tattoos, Anthony Bourdain, passed earlier today, apparently by self-inflicted chokehold.

I often poke fun at the dead… Which is a terrible character flaw considering I’ll be the first to die in this office… But a young writer here, Kate, wrote a very cool tribute to Bourdain earlier on the main page, and gave some info on how to get help for depression.

I have never gotten my head around that disease, but with the recent passing of Spade and now Bourdain, maybe that whole “Money can’t buy happiness” thing is true… Not for me, of course. Money is the fucking best, and I really miss having it. But unfortunately for those battling real depression, it just doesn’t fill the hole.

On a lighter note, I cant believe I forgot to mention Liam Neeson’s birthday yesterday… Northern Irishman with the biggest cock Julia Roberts has ever seen. Janice Dickinson once said of sex with Neeson, “He unzipped his pants and it looked like an Evian bottle fell out. It was insane!” That will never be said about me. “He unzipped his pants and it looked like a lightswitch buried in gray hair was visible in the distance. It was so sad!” is more like it.

Liam also has a very particular set of skills, skills he acquired over a very long career. One of those skills is extracting $15 from me every time he stars in another Taken ripoff.

This Sunday, NYC hosts the Puerto Rican Day Parade, otherwise known as the day I avoid the city like “el plague-o”… It is certainly not as disgusting as the St Patty’s Day Parade, but it is arguably more “stabby”.

Pic of DiBlasio is a perfect segue into this…

On Monday I will have another I HATE NY segment, because a ton of people sent me pics and stories about how much they also despise this diseased anus.

Next Sunday is Father’s Day, so expect to see couple posts about that. Including one on who I think is the worst dad alive, and one on the dad who got the worst news possible.

Real quick: My wife was chaperoning a trip to DC this week and she saw this woman bathing her kid in the fountain of the World War II Memorial.

Build the fucking wall.

So on top of the possible recurring “I HATE NY”, I used to do this other thing on the last site. Was kind of popular then, and there might be some demand for it now.

Plenty of cheesecake on the homepage already with the scattered Smokeshows, and whatnot. But maybe there is a little room left to reminisce.

It was called “Ass From The Past”, and it highlighted women from my youth that made it move. Sometimes there was a “Where are they now?” bent to it, but mostly it was just something that would stir up some good memories and maybe a little blood flow.

So first up on the Ass From The Past reboot is Phoebe Cates… Universally loved girl-next-door back in the early ’80’s.

Her break-out role in “Fast Times At Ridgemont High” had her literally break out of a red bikini top while Judge Reinhold beat-off in a nearby bathroom (and the rest of beat-off into a nearby tissue).

Coitus interruptus, but the full clip would never make it past my editor.

She was also in “Gremlins” and a couple other forgettable roles, but quit acting in 1990 to concentrate on her family.

Been married to Kevin Kline for almost 30 years. Has one son and also a 24 year old daughter who sings under the name Frankie Cosmos. And let me save you a couple minutes. Don’t bother Googling the daughter. Frankie seems like a sweet girl, but unfortunately for us, that apple fell far from the Fast Times tree.

Anyhoo, Phoebe’s turning 55 in July and has a neck that is kinda like mine.