Breaking News: Jerry Lewis is Still Alive

What a fucking day! My goodness. If you would have told me that Jerry Lewis was still alive today I would have slapped you across your garbage mouth. I thought he’s been dead for like 15 years or more. The disrespect to suggesting something like that about a legend would have been too much for me to bear. The other day I mentioned to my wife that we should Jerry Lewis on our ofrenda. You see, the ofrenda is, lest we forget, a collection of objects placed on a ritual altar during the annual and traditionally Mexican Día de Muertos celebration. An ofrenda, which may be quite large and elaborate, is usually created for an individual person who has died and is intended to welcome him/her to the altar setting. But, with one simple tweet about his new Netflix special, Jerry and Jerry were both very much alive and are no longer needing of photographic inclusion at my family’s ofrenda. Incredible. There will be room for him in the coming years. Make no mistake about that.

Some days you wake up and wonder if this whole thing is worth it. You need the cards of life that are given to us by our beloved mother earth to deal you a couple of spades. Jerry Lewis being alive is nothing but aces.

RIP to Mama Coco tho. Gone too soon.