The Taliban's New Uniforms Make Them Look Like Some Real PussySlayers:::: NOT!

Horrific uniform choice by the Pakistani Taliban. Look, I know picking uniforms and team shirts can be a difficult task. Three years ago, I was an assistant coach for my daughter’s soccer team. They got to pick the team name and slogan.

Here’s what they picked from:

1. The Harry Potters
2. The Orange Strawberries (didnt hate that. Put the other team’s minds into a pretzel with a riddle to start the match)
3. Mosquitos (this was kinda fucked up because it was during the height of the Zika scare)
4. Dragon Breath

They went with Dragon Breath. I tried to explain to them that dragon breath can be fire, which is what they intended, or it could be stinky breath after a night of cigars and whiskey. Needlesstosay, lots of stinky breath taunts filled the next 8 weeks. It was bound to happen. They went 2-10 on the season. Stinky. Dragon Breath.

Same goes with the Taliban. They thought they nailed it but they left themselves wide open to some battlefield taunts.

Look at these fucking dorks. High socks like an old man at the gym and the most 1986 walmart-looking camouflage I’ve seen in years. And then sitting around a TV that was pulled out on a cart like a bunch of toddlers at a pre-school getting ready to watch CoCo because they were good all week and get to have a special prize. Sit down, Taliban. Sit criss-cross applesauce and Sgt Tali Ban will bring all the good boys some juice and crackers.

No tension? More like no pension because you dont need one when you blow yourself up, folks.

PS for veterans: Where the fuck is their NCO for letting them stack arms that way? Magazines going any ole way they want. Not on my watch. Fuckin boots.