Happy Birthday, Bryan Colangelo!
I’m going to say something real quick and I swear I’m not just saying this for the sake of the take–I actually… I actually think I’m kind of jealous of Bryan Colangelo right now. And hear me out on this one.
Obviously everybody knows he’s been having a pretty rough week. There’s no doubt about that. And I think at this point, there is 100% chance that at least a few of the burner accounts (and specifically the most active ones) have been run by his wife, Barbara Bottini. Now does it suck that he’s caught up in this mess and that his career or most likely over? Absolutely. Regardless of whichever way you split it up, that’s a pretty situation to be a part of. But as far as a bad situation goes? I actually think that Bryan Colangelo is coming out of this one pretty okay.
For starters, Bryan Colangelo was just handed a permanent “Get Out Of Jail Free” card for the rest of his marriage. If your wife is running some burner accounts and it ends up ruining your career, you get to hold that over her for the rest of your life. BC will never have to do another thing around the house for as long as he lives. He’ll never have to go to any social gathering he doesn’t want to go to anymore. Dude can just chill all he wants and have that Trump card ready to go in his back pockets at all times.
Secondly, Bryan Colangelo knows he has a ride or die wife on his side. She might be a little crazy, sure. But anybody who will create multiple burner accounts just to defend the size of your shirt collars is somebody who you want to have in your corner. Sometimes the ride or dies will get you into some trouble but all things considered, it’s tough to feel bad for Bryan Colangelo on that part .
And lastly, today is his birthday. There are some reports out there that the Sixers’ investigation into everything could be wrapped up today which would make for the perfect summer Friday afternoon news dump. Wouldn’t be surprised to see a decision get announced sometime around 3:45 this afternoon. You have to imagine he’s going to get canned. So why is this a good thing? Well because regardless of how awkward the situation is today, you have to imagine that the Sixers staff are still going to bring him in cake or ice cream or something like that for his birthday. And I’m a firm believer that if you are going to get fired, it’s always best to get fired whilst having cake or ice cream. It softens the blow and even though you don’t have a job anymore, at least you have cake or ice cream. So there you have it. Bryan Colangelo was put in a shitty situation this week but somehow it’s going about as well as it possibly could for him right now.