A Bunch Of Peacocks Escaped The Zoo In What Continues To Be A Crazy Week In Philly Sports
First Bryan Colangelo gets busted using burner twitter accounts. Then Ben Simmons starts dating Kendall Jenner. And now we’ve got a bunch of peacocks just roaming freely around Philadelphia. I can’t help but to imagine all three of these things are somehow intertwined and connected.
Let’s think about this for a moment. First off, obviously Kendall Jenner is part of the Kardashian family. Who just met with President Trump to discuss prison reform? Naturally it was prison reform expert Kim Kardashian. Who else has been working on prison reform lately? The Philadelphia 76ers in their quest to free Meek Mill. Also–you could make the argument that a zoo is nothing more than an animal prison. So having these peacocks escape the Philadelphia Zoo is their own form of prison reform as well. And with those peacocks escaping the zoo last night, the police were then on a wild peacock chase. Which is essentially the same thing as a wild goose chase. And a wild goose chase is pretty much with the Philadelphia 76ers are on right now to get to the bottom of this whole Bryan Colangelo burner account saga.
So there you have it. All 3 of the biggest stories in the city of Philadelphia over the last 24-48 hours are all connected. Now we just need to figure out what the end game is here. I mean clearly the Kardashians are at the top of it all pulling all of the strings. But why peacocks? What do peacocks have to do with any of this? The rest of this is all pretty cut and dry. The Kardashians are using Kendall Jenner to use Ben Simmons to use the Sixers to get the credit for freeing Meek Mill in their quest to build the new season of Keeping Up With The Kardashians around prison reform. The burner accounts are just an additional storyline set up to distract everybody from the fact that the Kardashians are taking over prison reform in this country. But the peacocks still just seem slightly out of place. Could they just be another aversion? Possibly. But that’s too easy. There has to be something bigger going on here. Something much much bigger. And after doing some extensive research on Urban Dictionary about peacocks, I’m a little worried about what’s coming next.
Mother fucker. Somebody get eyes on Joel!!!