A Chinese Woman Bit Down On Her Ex-Boyfriend's Tongue During Their Breakup Kiss And Refused To Let Go Until She Was Pepper Sprayed

Daily Mail- Breakups are painful, and for this man it’s especially so. A 23-year-old man in eastern China had to be rescued by police after his soon-to-be ex-girlfriend bit his tongue and refused to let go. According to some onlookers, the bizarre incident happened when the man had asked to break up with the 26-year-old woman, and she wanted a last kiss. Officers in Anhui Province had to use pepper spray on the woman to free the man, according to police.

The woman’s parents explained to police that their daughter recently became ‘mentally unstable’ after being scammed while shopping online, and that could be the cause of her behaviour. The parents said their daughter and the man had been in a relationship for several years. They didn’t comment on whether or not they were breaking up.

WRITER’S NOTE: I am invoking Internet Law 25.81 here that states any video from China can be completely taken out of context and any story can be made up about it. But for this blog, I choose to believe the Daily Mail’s tale is what truly transpired unless Donnie tells me different

I know some people will watch this video and think that chick is crazy or that guy is an idiot. But I see something different. I see a woman that is a hopeless romantic. As a wise young woman named Skyler White once said, both people have to turn their keys like launching missiles in a submarine to make a breakup official. If one key is turned, there is no breakup. Only when two keys have been turned can the destructive act take place.

Our Chinese Juliet clearly subscribed to this theory and refused to twist a key by holding onto her lover’s tongue since his heart had already gotten away from her. It’s beautiful when you think about it. If you rewatch that video with the wonderful melody of Jason Mraz’s “I Won’t Give Up” playing in the background, it’ll change your entire perspective on everything.

See? I told you so! That chick believes in a little something called love. It doesn’t always make sense. In fact, it seldom does. But if you don’t stand for something, you will fall for anything. Then again, even if you stand for something, you will still fall when a shitload of pepper spray gets shot directly into your face. I guarantee neither of these beaus will be single for long however, because that dude must do something special to garner that type of reaction to a breakup. And there will always be a Feitelberg out there for a chick crazy enough to clamp on a tongue to avoid a breakup. In fact I guarantee this has happened to Feits multiple times in his life.

So let this be a lesson to all the young folks out there that are ready to cut bait with their significant others. If you are going in for a goodbye kiss, go for a kiss on the cheek or a peck on the lips. Because if you toss some french into that breakup kiss, you can either end up with some teeth clamped down on your tongue or even worse, end up with some magic in the nether-regions that will instantly make you untwist your key in the breakup.

And since I know you guys want it, here is the full music video for that lovely Jason Mraz song.