Steaksgiving: It's About Time We Quit Pretending That We Like Turkey And Stop Making It The Centerpiece Of Thanksgiving

It's time we stop with this charade. We as a society need to stop pretending that we like turkey and should stop making it the centerpiece of the traditional Thanksgiving meal. It's not good! It's nothing special at all and in no way should it be the calling card for the supposed biggest eating day of the year. We think of it as a tradition to eat turkey on Thanksgiving, but did you know the pilgrims never even said they had turkey on the first Thanksgiving? The pilgrims and colonists ate venison, shellfish, some sort of waterfowl, corn, squash, beans. Nowhere was it ever mentioned that turkey was eaten at the first Thanksgiving. Maybe that waterfowl was a turkey? Probably not, more likely it was duck or geese, but it probably wasn't a turkey. We only started thinking of the turkey as a "Thanksgiving meal" because Sarah Josepha Hale, an author, described in a book that the Thanksgiving meal included a roasted turkey. She should get ALL the blame for putting this dry bird on our tables every November. The turkey stuck as the king of the meal because there were so many of them around, that is how it became tradition. But just because we've done something for so long doesn't mean it should go on forever. It's time we due away with the bird and bring on Steaksgiving.

I've been screaming it since I was a child and it seems like it's catching on, we should NOT make gobblers the main part of the meal. More and more each year I'm seeing people migrate towards steaksgivings, a REAL American meal. Have a little turkey breast or something if you want, but no family in their right minds wants a 17 pound bird full of dry, non-flavored meat. It's a bitch and a half to prepare, 90% of you reading this have a mom, wife, or in-laws staying up late last night getting last minute prep for that bitch of a bird ready, it's too much work for something that simply isn't good. It's a ton of pressure too, prepping and making a turkey. We've all heard horror stories of not getting the turkey defrosted in time, somebody messing it up, undercooking it and fucking up the whole meal. Maybe you didn't get a big enough one, maybe you had someone who can't carve it. There are an insane amount of things that can go wrong with a turkey, so why not go with something much easier and way more delicious?

Go with a steak tenderloin, go with some nice filets on your plate instead of that nasty turkey, some wagyu or brisket. Turkey is fine (I guess) as a lunch meat, but it is nowhere close to a top meat or poultry option for the middle of the table on the biggest eating day of the year. Other countries probably sit back and laugh at us for eating those idiot birds every year. We have loved ones that spend hours and hours and hours prepping something and even after all that, it's not great. You don't remember the best turkey you ever had, but I bet you remember the best steak you've ever had, you can probably recall exactly where you were. The buck stops here. Throw some beef on your plate like red blooded Americans and if your pre-pubescent cousin wants some turkey, have a little piece of the bird ready to go. But make sure you leave room for the beef. 

Chuck gets it, he's raising his little one the right away. Beef on the plate. It is way past time that we admit that no one actually enjoys turkey on this holiday, we'd all prefer a nice cut of steak over dark meat or white meat. Your dad cursing his face off trying to get every ounce of meat off the carcass, big ass turkey leg like you're walking around Disney World, get out of here with that. Digging through to find the wishbone so you can let the littlest person in the family win so they don't have a meltdown, what fun is that? And guess what, all the side dishes go just as well with a piece of steak or beef! Mashed potatoes, green beans, casserole, rolls, stuffing? So much better with beef. And don't come at me with "Well if you deep fry it, it's awesome!", cool man, you risk blowing up your house for some mid bird. I'll get the grill out and make a steak 15 times better than any turkey you've ever eaten, in like 1/10th of the time too. Deep fried, baked, whatever, it ain't that good! It is simply too much work, the juice ain't worth the squeeze. 

I mean look at this shit from Chef Donny. That shit looks INCREDIBLE. IN WHAT WORLD ARE YOU EATING A NASTY BIRD OVER ANY OF THAT? Those pictures right there are why we should be grubbing on that and now turkey. I mean turkey isn't in the same ballpark as a main course, it's almost embarrassing to compare the two. God damnit Donny, that is how you provide some evidence. 

Don't be afraid to speak up and say "let's ditch the bird this year", I guarantee you the person who usually preps and makes the turkey will jump for joy. Think about it this year, but 2025 is the year of beef for Thanksgiving, stop being sheep and conforming to what some lady wrote in a book 250 years ago, it's time we take the eating holiday back. Sit there and ask yourself what you would enjoy more, a steak or some bland turkey? You know the answer, get that tenderloin going and enjoy. You'll thank me, I guarantee you will. Happy Thanksgiving, friends.